IWS #218 - The Results
 

IWS #218 - Stupid get a performance review

Stupid gets an email monday morning that he will be receiving a performance review this friday. He opens up the email to find a 3 question questionnaire.

1. What is your best skill that you provide the company?

12 - Hard working/Works hard
6 - Communication/Customer Service
2 - People Person
1 - Attention to Detail
1 - Loyalty
1 - Excel skills
1 - Leadership

So this was a fun one, this one required less interpretation than the next question. It broke down along the lines I thought with it being a showdown between hard work and communication. I'd be interested knowing how many of the respondents are technical people vs managers/sales as my guess is that would be close to the hard work/communication split.

2. What is the one area that you need to improve upon?

7 - Communication/Customer Service
4 - Perfectionist/Takes on too much/Works too hard
3 - Efficiency/Procrastination/Time Management
3 - Organization
2 - Punctuality
1 - Discipline
1 - Too Nice
1 - People Skills
1 - Team work
1 - Patience

As I thought this was the most fun one. I tried to group things together by what I interpreted the intent of their answer was. Props to the two entries that repeated the answer from the first question. I was expecting an inverse of question one with Hard work being paired with communication, then to get some random answers out of people who put communication for Q1, however the most likely pairing was Hard Work/Perfectionist, so what do I know? Also FWIW my interpretation did not affect the eventual winner, although without it one of the second place entries would have gotten fired.

3. What percent raise do you feel that you deserve?

18 - 10%
2 - 5%
1 - 50%
1 - 20%
1 - 3%
1 - 1%

I thought this would be split a lot more between 5 and 10%. Guess 5 is not a round enough number. Props to those who would ask for a 50% raise, and answering the question number is too smart for stupid.

Stupid submits the email and anxiously awaits his review on friday. When stupid arrives to the review he sees three other employees sitting in the room and several board games. Stupid is informed that he can select any game, however only the winner will be retained with the company.

4. Which board game does stupid select?

18 - Monopoly
2 - Chess
2 - Risk
1 - Checkers
1 - Scrabble

Monopoly was my guess, turns out it was the right one. Thought this quiz needed an eliminator.

Amazingly after a long drawn out match stupid wins the board game. Sweaty and nerve wracked stupid is ushered into an adjoining room. Stupid is informed that his office will be closing but there will be a position available for him in another office. The company has offices in most major Canadian and US cities.

5. Which office does he choose to transfer to?

19 - New York
3 - Los Angeles
1 - Honolulu
1 - Calgary

Didn't think I'd have 3 eliminators. I was going to write that the office was in New York because I was a little afraid of this, but I thought that enough people would pick LA or Chicago. You couldn't pay me enough to work/live in NYC. This is the one question I would have liked back. Thumbs up to the person who picked my hometown.

Upon arriving for the first day of work at his new job he is told that he has shown impressive skills and has been promoted to branch manager. He is allowed to select any office on the floor.

6. Which direction do the windows in his office face?

9 - North
6 - West
5 - East
4 - South

This was the craziest answer for me. Here you would almost rather have an interior office than one that faces North because you would want some sunshine. Apparently you would just fry anywhere else. I thought this answer would also be quite city dependent, but apparently not.

Thank you to all of those who entered, I'll try and do better the next time!

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Still working, just not getting paid

Mailroom attendant

Middle management

Star on the rise

On the board

The new CEO

Winner and undisputed champion of the office ---- UMBRELLA!!!

If I would have said New York, that would have sealed it.

North... bah! East people... by the time I get in the office the glare is gone.

I didnt go with Monopoly, figured it was too much a game of chance.

Nailed 3, completely whiffed on 3. Nice work nilodor!

I suppose North is the most "stupid" of the cardinal directions since it's usually the first one said when listing all of them.

Instaclassic!

Bah, if I had chosen a 10% raise I would've won. Stupid is too greedy.

As for office direction, who would chose east or west? That just means you have the sun coming straight in 50% of the time.

Wooot! My first ever win. I've got some ideas for the next one.

At first I was a little concerned with the first two questions but it turned out pretty well. I was really surprised how popular New York was, I thought some other cities would have been better represented. It was pretty crazy watching the numbers change as the entries came in and our eventual winner was on the outside looking in until the last couple of entries.

Great IWS Nil! Instant classic indeed!!

Surprised I did as well as I did. If not for answering #1 with Communication, would have been a perfect score. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride for me these days it seems.

Great questions, and congrats to Umbrella for nailing them all!

I didn't get them all, but I did have the second place answer for #2. I actually thought that #1 was the toughest, and felt pretty confident about my answers for #2-5. IMO, #6 had to be either north or south because of the sun, and guessed right.