Open Letter to He-Man, Master of the Universe
 

He-Man,

I am very disappointed to still see that "sticky" thread of yours praying the militaries at the top of the board (among other great initiatives of yours).

I'd like to -respectfully- express my exasperation as you being the master of the universe. All you did since becoming the official master in this universe was not only promote but make sure everyone was obligated (forced ?) to follow your ideas and convictions of goodness...(like you were some sort of prince) or else you were quick to display your "wrath" towards these people (me included but this is not an issue nor the question to this point). You also are responsible for my housing association sending me a nastygram about the non-standard mailbox in front of my castle. Don’t you have better things to worry about?

Basically, all I see here is that most Eternia related threads are disappearing one by one...this has become everything but a universe, let alone master of the universe, board and you don't encourage things to change since you insist with your personal thread (that are YOUR point of view and not necessarily everyone's) about your personal beliefs/adorations (sometimes you do scare me with this and with way you wear leather bandoleers) at the TOP of the board, un-removalbe and un-answerable: so to make sure that you are un-contested. In short, you are the Boss Hogg of the Universe.

Do what you please now, hopefully you won't delete this tread as it took me a long time to think this up. I am respectfully disgusted by your managing of the universe as you made it all but what it used to be.

this is a shame and this is my opinion.

just a reminder before you start bashing out loud the "he's just mad because he has no skin on his head, what a jerk" thing : I am still a member of the universe, and one day it will be all mine. thank you.

Skeletor

Do you think She-Ra will be receptive to the Power of Grayskull?

Why is it that everytime there's a thread calling out SkyDog, you feel motivated to start another thread that mocks the title? Just wondering.

I mock a lot of things. For instance, I mocked the tantrum you threw about Nirvana. That had nothing to with SkyDog at all, unless the rumors about him really being Courtney Love are true.

Yeah but I didn't get a whole thread about it, I feel slighted.

Skeletor,

You're next on America's list!



Todd

If everyone was obligated (forced ?) to follow your ideas and convictions of goodness, then the terrorists have already won!

You will not win Skeletor.

Megatron

It's just like the universe to be so caught up in He-Man and Skeletor that they forget the plight of Beast Man.

It's time to call in Voltron.



You pissed off the wrong defender of the universe.

:D

Has anybody seen the new He-man figures? They're just not right.

The new He-man looks gaunt, and somewhat constipated, at least by He-man standards.

Somewhere, I know, there's alcohol involved in all of this....

please share

Fritz, this may be your finest work.

I watched "I loved the 80's... 1983" on VH1 over the weekend. It seems as though He-Man was (gasp) gay! Not that there is anything wrong with that. The evidence that they presented was rather overwhelming.

It is a pretty good series, I recommend you check it out.

There is something magical about post 4815. Someday you will see.

TROGDOR

THE BURNINATOR

Hehe. This reminds me of one of those classic "kid moments." When my nephew was about 3 years old, he loved to watch Masters of the Universe. Well, one day we were all about to go out somewhere or another, and meeting at my parents' house before hand. We're all sitting in the den, and Gwen (my sister) is brushing Lawrence's (her son) hair. Like any 3ish-year-old boy, this wasn't what he wanted to be doing when all the family was there for him to play with. At this point in his life, he really wasn't speaking in complete sentences yet. Imagine all of our shock when in the midst of his squirming to get away, he blurts out to Gwen, in his best little deep-gravely-fierce-Skeletor-imitation voice, "Release me, you fool!"

Of course, one should NEVER laugh or positively reinforce a child's defiance of a parent, but that one just completely broke up everyone in the room. My father particularly lost it. It was a hilarious moment...

Thank goodness your story did not go:

You just ain't right Fritz. :D

haha, thats from the stories thread a long time ago..

Good memory man

Starscream was the best.

"It's time to call in Voltron."

Pfft...time to call the Thundercats! HO!!

Wasn't he a Transformer? And if I remember correctly, a really angry Transformer?

GoBots were underrated.

It wasn't so much that Starscream was angry, he was just the biggest coward of all the transformers. He was always the first to flee. He was tied with Cobra Commander for amount of retreats.

Dola,

GoBots lacked the cool Transformer theme song. When I sang the GoBot theme song to my gf, she couldn't stop laughing. This also happened when I sang the old Hulk theme song "Doc Bruce Banner, belted by gamma rays, turned into the Hulk" etc.

Jamie

On a related note, we bought "Hulk Hands" for my nephew for his 5th birthday. Noah is a wild child who is into action toys so these were perfect for him. They are big green foam fists that you stick your hands into like gloves. When you punch with them, they make noises like growling and stuff breaking. I made him put them on, look into the video camera, make a mean face and say, "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

I've heard those are a beech to find!? .. and quite possibly the hottest toy around.


Todd

We bought them a couple months ago at a local Wal-Mart. I'd been looking forward to giving them to him since. His reaction did not dissapoint.

I saw a load of them at Target yesterday.

Yeah, I was never big on He-Man...Transformers and GI Joe man...

GI Joe for me as well. In my mom's attic, I still have the 7 foot USS Flag GI Joe aircraft carrier. It's just collecting dust and waiting for my first son. (Thanks but no thanks, Cam)

GI Joes for me too, except they were 12" tall.

My mom wouldn't let me watch He-Man... said it was satanic and un-christian. I mostly watched Tranformers... they had by far the best toys back then anyway IMO.

anyone else grow up Thundar the barbarian instead of He-man?

Ariel the sorceress...where is my kleenex

And has there ever been as worthy a companion as Ookla the Mok?

Anyone else notice that they are now re-releasing the old Transformers toys. I saw them at Toys R Us the other day

And nothing says christian like robots from outer space disguising themselves as vehicles and running around trying to kill each other. ;)

Yeah, I've been wanting a couple except they're so damned expensive.

SI

Are they the old original ones or the newer, crappy plastic ones?

I was going to ask about that. A girl I went to school with who happened to be one of our plethora of PKs (preacher kids) argued with me one day that He-Man was satanic because when Prince Adam was turning into He-Man he said, "By the power of Greyskull, I have the power!" which was satanic because only Christ had the power. I argued that it was a freakin' cartoon and that somebody was taking things well out of context.


On another subject, am I the only one here who wanted to bag Teela? Especially Chelsea Field in the live action version? Meow!

Still, Teela was no Col. Wilma Deering in Buck Rogers. I still have a little Erin Gray thing going for me. She's like the 80s version of Parker Posey.

I dunno, but if any of the new Transformer toys are any indication, it's lighter, cheaper plastic. But at $30-$50 a pop, I can't afford to just take a flier on them.

{old man mode}
Back in my day, when you threw transformers at a friend/sibling they hurt, dammit.
{/old man mode}

SI

How about Iron Man?

Tony Stark
Makes you feel He's a cool exec.
With a heart of steel.

(second verse, sung by manly men)
As Iron Man,
All jets ablaze,
He fights and smite'n
With repulsor rays!

(thid verse/chorus, both alternate)
A blaze of power!
Iron Man!
Amazing armor!
Iron Man!

Or Captain America


When Captain America throws his mighty shield,
All those who chose oppose his shield must yield.

If he's lead to a fight and a duel is due,
Then the red and white and the blue'll come through.

When Captain America throws his mighty shield.

cuervo -- ditto on seeing ample supply of HulkHands at Target, lots there last week at two different locations

kcchief -- ditto on Erin Gray as MILF

GrantDawg -- ditto on Iron Man as seriously cool cartoon hero

I bought a couple. Thundercracker seems to be the same old toy, but silvertreak seems to be cheap plastic.

Heh heh,

The lads are planning a paintball excursion to Hamilton (New Zealand) on June 21. For a bunch of useless dudes this is turning into a major planning exercise. But that is irrelavant. We have divided all the players into two teams: autobots and decepticons.

We all picked a transformer (preferably from the 84 original series) and we are getting t-shirts made with our transformer name on the back and the big stylised autobot or decepticon logo printed on the back. After shooting the crap out of each other we are going to watch the All Blacks destroy Wales.

Match Tickets + Paintball + T-Shirt = $120 NZD ($60 USD approx).

Researching all of your favourite transformers for hours and hours on end before sharing this with the rest of the lads: priceless.

We have also convinced four girls (including LJ) to play under the "Pink Rule - 2003" whereby no male may shoot at a female who is within 10 metres (yards). Thus if the girls are clever they will run up to as many guys as possible to bring them into the "pink zone" before completely wasting them. I am confident that they will do the damage as I have played with most of these guys before and they couldn't hit the side of a barn from 5 metres.

kiwiDE57

Not that this thread wasn't off topic enough already but it wasn't really serious to begin with...

Anyone checked out the new He-Man cartoon (new being a relative term for in the past year or so)? It's the first cartoon remake that seems to capture the old cartoon's spirit. It's an 80s cartoon at the core, for good or ill: small self-contained plot starting with skeletor cursing his minions for being nimrods and ending the same way with a moral and some minor character development along the way. No one else has seemed to capture the fun and innocence of the cartoons in their remakes: not any Transformers incarnation, not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, not Volton, not Justice League (vs Batman or Superman), nor X-Men. They have all either been too stupid or too kid-centric (i.e. either hamhanded/stupid dialogue or makes the heroes all teens and thusly you get lots of angst and "teen problem" plots).

SI

*sigh* Time to reminisce about the good ol' days.