Movie Titles: In Honor of Elon
 

I thought it might be fun to play with movie titles in honor of Elon Musk and his attempt to rebrand one of the more successful brands in internet history.

(as an aside, I was hoping the new logo for eX would be a picture of Grimes).

Here's how it works (or come up with your own variation). Take a well-known movie title. Remove one letter somewhere in the title. Then provide a short blurb for the new movie.

Here are a few I came up with:

The Silence of the Labs - A documentary about discovering the origin of Covid-19.

Danes with Wolves - An epic featuring one small group of soldiers, loyal to the king, defending Castle Elsinore against overwhelming odds.

The Ion King - The even truer story about Robert Oppenheimer's work on the Atom Bomb.

Pup Fiction - A group of suburban moms form a writer's guild to create innovative stories about their beloved family dogs.

Taxi Drier - A man spends day after day working the exit of a local car wash, hoping to meet Jodie Foster.

Fining Nemo - A lowly parking enforcement officer bravely battles a city official who insists on parking his boat trailer in a red zone.

Twelve Years a Save - A heartwarming story about a back-of-the-bullpen pitcher who simply won't quit, despite a four-digit ERA and no fastball.

It's a Wonderful Lie - A man feels obligated to tell his children that there is no Santa Claus, but they won't believe him.

Nothing can top Twelve Years a Save, but:

Miser - a wealthy author wrecks his automobile on a snowy road and is gravely injured, yet declines traditional healthcare in order to maintain his fortune and instead hires a sketchy nurse to care for him.

Rave - a spunky, Scottish redhead spends the weekend disappointing her parents, avoiding her younger brothers, and staying one step ahead of trouble as she searches for the ultimate party experience.

Primal Ear - an aging, narcissistic attorney, in the early stages of hearing loss, agrees to represent a suspicious client who promises a mysterious cure if he helps him get away with murder…

Yeah, Twelve Years a Save is petty good.

The Return of He-Jedi - An animated Star Wars/He-Man cross over

Arbie - Another product turned movie, this time a processed meat sandwich

Chariots of Fir - A biopic of an ancient Egyptian chariot maker

Liens: In space nobody can sell their house.

A Simple Pan - A man (Bill Paxton) and his dim-witted brother (Billy Bob Thornton) see their lives slowly come unraveled by secrecy and deceit after finding a $9.99, plastic handled, non-nonstick pan hidden in the woods.

Still working on the plot for Cocaine Bar.

Goo Burger- Two Zany cooks flip their own special blend of “meat” patties.

Saving Pirate Ryan - Instead of prosecuting, an internet mogul attempts to redeem the soul of a chronic Napster downloader.

Casio - About the creation of a watch empire through deceit, drugs, and the mob.

Cool Han Luke - A space opera about an unlikely pair who are sentenced to two years in an Imperial detention center.

Eat - A group of high-end professional eating contestants start to feel the heat from the LAPD when they unknowingly leave a clue at their latest feast.

The Land Before Tim - A documentary about under-powered power tools.
Hotel Wanda - A story about a hotel run by a fish.
Man of the Ear - Van Gogh biopic
Karat Kid - A boy digs his way out of a collapsed gold mine
Petty Woman - A man discovers there are other fish in the sea after suffering from a vindictive wife for decades.
Bicentennieal Ma - A family waits an extremely long time for an inherited fortune.
Dogeball - A tiny, cute puppy has an unusual aptitude for volleyball.
The Bach - Johann Sebastian struggles with his children being more popular than he is.
And Justice for Al - Mr. Borland finally gets his own show.

Jurassic Ark - about how Noah couldn't fit the dinosaurs on the boat... Movie financed by Hobby Lobby

Tar Wars - a school needs their roof redone and brothers with rival roof tarring business get into hijinx... starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly

Aws - 2 hours of people being mildly attacked by kittens and puppies.

Carface-A man begins to look more and more like his vintage Ford Mustang.

The Dirty Doze - a guy has impure thoughts during an afternoon nap.

Life of Bran - A fascinating documentary about the world of competitive cereal eating.

Life of Bran (TV Show) - A lighthearted look at the hijinks of Bran Stark's rule, complete with 90's laugh track. Only pilot episode filmed, never picked up by networks.

Dead Pets Society - A chilling look into a cult that formed in a small midwest town in 1967.

One with the Wind - One man's story to hide the slow onset of disability while serving his country as a Pilot during WW2.

this thread has already outperformed my expectations

Pollo 13 - Too many cooks spoil the chicken
The Fist Wives Club - No comment. I'm sorry.

Last of the O'hicans- a ragtag bunch of Irish soldiers hold out in the last days of WW2.

Am I Tad - A young man's quest to overcome amnesia

Tom Stone - set in a desolate town in the West, Tom works tirelessly to build the world's most meh corral.

Into the WIL - a technical breakdown of the responsibilities of a inside LB in a 3-4 defense

To Gun - a documentary breaking down when deadly force can and can't be used in self-defense

No Country for Old Me - autobiographical film about the life of Henry Kissinger and his quest to secretly buy China.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

While nothing will beat 12 years a Save

12 Years a Slav-A pre-teen discovers his complicated family lineage during the height of the Bosnian War.

Fast Time at Ridgemont High-A Group of students go on a hunger strike to protest awful school lunches

Fat Times at Ridgemont High- Students at the Fat Kid table pursue dietary change.

On the TV show front:

The Summer I Turned Petty - A 16-year-old girl spends the summer constantly triggered by the smallest of things.

Braking Bad - Walter and Jesse set out to build the biggest meth enterprise, but they can't slow down their RV.

I have money on Twelve Years a Save and Pollo 13 cleaning up the awards this year.

I have come up with a sequel for Twelve Years a Save:

Gone with the Win - While warming up in the bullpen, our hero sees his team rally to expand their lead to 7-runs and he must therefore pitch the 9th in a non-save situation. With music by Rodgers and Hammerstein.

All the Resident's Men - two enterprising journalists expose a salesman running a business out of his Manhattan apartment to avoid business taxes.

Full Meal Jacket - a tailor finds fame and fortune designing formal dinner wear for the end-of-season country club banquet.

Raisin Arizona - a lonely dermatologist moves to Phoenix, is lonely no more.

The Even Year Itch - She's hot, she's blonde, she has an odd commitment problem.


In a similar vain, I've often thought of renaming shows to reflect what they really should be called. Ergo:
Breaking Bad becomes Walt Yells At Jesse

Animal Hose - Ghost Econ has a solution for his dog problems.

KY Fall-A couple gets adventurous during a Louisville autumn night.

The House with a Cock in the Walls - Again, I'm sorry. I only have bad thoughts.

Maters of the Universe-Larry the Cable guy voices every character in a sci fi adventure set in the world of Pixar’s Cars. Features the hit Disney mash up “Try this in a Small World(After All)”

The Fat and the Furious - A small town in Mississippi fights against the shutdown of their local buffet.

Yeah all kinds of sequels like 2 Fat 2 Furious, Fat and Furious, Fat X, The Fat of the Furious, Fat Five, Fat and the Furious:Tokyo Drift(involves a complicated scheme to get free Kobe Beef)

White Men Can’t Ump

Munch - story of the artist who painted The Scream

Brin’s Song - Google cofounder biopic

Boz in the Hood - Brian Bosworth moves into south central LA

2001: A pace Odyssey - day-by-day chronicle of Barry Bonds’ chase of the single season HR record

Hosiers - drama about Indiana stocking manufacturers

Apologies if these fall short.

White Men Can't Ump is top tier for sure.

Freaky Frida - Lindsay Lohan stars as a girl named Frida.

Sakes on a Plane - a rowdy flight from NY to Tokyo.

Ron Man - Robert Downey Jr. is a man named Ron.

Ant Man and the WAP - Ant Man can't escape a WAP.

The Passion of the Chris

Chintown - Jay Leno moves into a new small town.

The Rocky Horror Picture Sow - A couple get stranded in the sty of a transvestite pig.

A Tim to Kill-Robbins, Duncan, Allen, McGraw or Burton…doesn’t matter. Just take your shot

Space Ja-Ja Morant seeks out a place to hoop on his own terms!

Sped -A retired Nascar champ reminisces about the times he drove really fast.

Peed- A determined dad with a white interior attempts to finish the road trip, but a 6year old with a tiny bladder is in the way.