[Pumpy Tudors]

I think if you gave me six hours alone in a well-furnished bathroom, I could come out of there looking like Sean Penn.

I'm about to give a bowling ball to a young man with special needs even though he will have no clue how to use it properly. I appreciate that he's at least going to try.

If I could choose three people to roll up to my house and do a drive-by, I would choose Amanda Tapping, George Foreman, and Amanda Tapping.

A guy at work is mad at me because he thinks I've taken his woman. Point 1, she wasn't his woman. Point 2, I didn't take her.

My apartment looks a lot like Japan right now. It's in western Pennsylvania.

Amanda is about to confront her fear of chickens for the first time.

Sorry, I can't get any more free gum.

Amanda is about to confront her fear of chickens for the second time.

I'm thisclose to posting a video called "Teach Me How to Pumpy" on my web site. Yes, I am in the video. Unfortunately, so is a rooster. It was by accident. I hate cock jokes.

I haven't worn a dress in over 25 years.