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Solecismic · 05-19-2011, 03:34 AM

Welcome to the penultimate episode of Country Idol 2011. Looking toward the stage you see three aspiring singing stars. Which one doesn't belong? I'll leave it for you to decide, but my bet's on the one who was tortured with impossible songs chosen for her by the Idol staff. You know, the one who sings just about anything but country.

Kristy Lee Cook is kicking herself for trying out three years too soon. She coulda been a contenda. Kellie Pickler just laughs and counts her money. No matter how hard she laughs, though, her shirt never moves. Kind of like Ryan Seacrest's hair in a stiff breeze.

I don't think any of you have any illusions about who I'm picking first tonight, but I'll throw the ratings together for the round of three anyway.

1. Haley Reinhart (surprise, surprise). They let her pick a song that inspired her for the first round, and she went with Led Zeppelin's "What Is and What Should Never Be." This showed off range and her ability to go on runs. They let her dad play some guitar, which made it a lot of fun for her. Jimmy Iovine sadistically chose the impossible Fleetwood Mac tune "Rhiannon" for her in the middle round. She actually did a more than credible job, focusing on hitting every note and staying in control of the vocal. Finally, the judges just kicked her in the groin with Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know," which has verses that Haley chose to sing out of her range. A mistake, perhaps, but she did a nice job finishing the song and showed off a lot of power in the choruses. 94, 86 and 80.

2. Lauren Alaina. She was at her worst in the opener, breathy and weak, especially in the early part of the song. Iovine gave her something that ruined her panty hose in the middle. I don't recognize it and it didn't suit her voice. She apparently missed a few notes in the middle as well. Still, everyone thought she was wonderful. The judges gave her a pretty Lee Ann Womack tune to finish the evening. This allowed her to show off more of her power and tone, and was easily her best of the night. 73, 74 and 83.

3. Scotty McCreery. Apparently unwilling to challenge his voting block for even a second, he decided to open with the same song he's thrown out there for a couple of months now. And he did the same decent job he's been doing all season. Iovine then chose something kitschy for him, something about being kissed. It was painfully awkward. I don't understand why the judges raved - his emoting was absolutely wrong for the song, and it didn't show off his voice at all. He finished with a decent choice from the judges, a familiar Kenny Rogers song. He was OK, but if you held that rendition up, side-by-side, against Rogers? It paled in comparison. Gotta know when to fold 'em. 77, 65 and 71.

Who Should Go: Scotty.

Who Will Go: I can say for certain it won't be Scotty. Haley, probably. She might have had a good chance if her Zeppelin had closed out the night.

05-19-2011, 03:34 AM	#503
Solecismic Solecismic Software Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Canton, OH	Welcome to the penultimate episode of Country Idol 2011. Looking toward the stage you see three aspiring singing stars. Which one doesn't belong? I'll leave it for you to decide, but my bet's on the one who was tortured with impossible songs chosen for her by the Idol staff. You know, the one who sings just about anything but country. Kristy Lee Cook is kicking herself for trying out three years too soon. She coulda been a contenda. Kellie Pickler just laughs and counts her money. No matter how hard she laughs, though, her shirt never moves. Kind of like Ryan Seacrest's hair in a stiff breeze. I don't think any of you have any illusions about who I'm picking first tonight, but I'll throw the ratings together for the round of three anyway. 1. Haley Reinhart (surprise, surprise). They let her pick a song that inspired her for the first round, and she went with Led Zeppelin's "What Is and What Should Never Be." This showed off range and her ability to go on runs. They let her dad play some guitar, which made it a lot of fun for her. Jimmy Iovine sadistically chose the impossible Fleetwood Mac tune "Rhiannon" for her in the middle round. She actually did a more than credible job, focusing on hitting every note and staying in control of the vocal. Finally, the judges just kicked her in the groin with Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know," which has verses that Haley chose to sing out of her range. A mistake, perhaps, but she did a nice job finishing the song and showed off a lot of power in the choruses. 94, 86 and 80. 2. Lauren Alaina. She was at her worst in the opener, breathy and weak, especially in the early part of the song. Iovine gave her something that ruined her panty hose in the middle. I don't recognize it and it didn't suit her voice. She apparently missed a few notes in the middle as well. Still, everyone thought she was wonderful. The judges gave her a pretty Lee Ann Womack tune to finish the evening. This allowed her to show off more of her power and tone, and was easily her best of the night. 73, 74 and 83. 3. Scotty McCreery. Apparently unwilling to challenge his voting block for even a second, he decided to open with the same song he's thrown out there for a couple of months now. And he did the same decent job he's been doing all season. Iovine then chose something kitschy for him, something about being kissed. It was painfully awkward. I don't understand why the judges raved - his emoting was absolutely wrong for the song, and it didn't show off his voice at all. He finished with a decent choice from the judges, a familiar Kenny Rogers song. He was OK, but if you held that rendition up, side-by-side, against Rogers? It paled in comparison. Gotta know when to fold 'em. 77, 65 and 71. Who Should Go: Scotty. Who Will Go: I can say for certain it won't be Scotty. Haley, probably. She might have had a good chance if her Zeppelin had closed out the night.