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When people unfriend me on Facebook without warning, I basically treat it as if the person now has to endure the rest of their lives without genitals and with severe leg cramps. Now that they no longer have genitals and have to suffer through leg cramps for the rest of their (hopefully long) lives, I am happy enough to throw a party.
This works out great except for the fact that my neighbors are pretty tired of me throwing so many parties.
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.
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