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Ahhhhhh. That was a long time. *makes sound of cracking neck*
Whew, I’m glad to be out of that room. All of that acid wasn’t good for the blade, ya know?
Oh, anyway, here I am! I’m with this lizard dude, so allow me to give ya the scoop about my sad life.
So, this wizard guy was getting up there in power and years. He decided to make one last great artifact before he passed, and I was to be his crowning achievement. He spent years researching how to make me, and he eventually came up with various formulae. I would be a Sword of Enbowelment. Not only would I have a +2 bonus to hit and damage, but I would be extra useful at finding critical hits! Not too shabby!
He even decided to imbue the blade with a bit of his essence so I would be able to speak, think, and be annoyed at life. Anyway, after spending years on the project, I guess we all knew what was about to happen. Ya see, as this guy got older, he also got a little less sharp in the head. A ritual to bind me and make me was only supposed to take eight hours. He began at dawn, but his mind was too muddled. He wasn’t able to finish until midnight. It wasn’t like he could just stop the ritual and turn on some lights, so it was dark. The combination of little light, an already tired mind, and poor eyesight led to him missing on the enchantment.
So, no, I’m not the powerful Sword of Enbowelment! No, instead I’m a…*shudders*…Sword of Envowelment. I know. Go ahead and laugh, I know you want to. My wielder can’t speak vowels. And yes, “Y’ counts as a vowel. I can’t tell you how annoying it is to decipher a bunch of “cfrk hrn bnkrws” sounds!
I’m still a +2 sword though! I’m a badass! But the problem is that most of my owners don’t want to keep me through the year ; we are so done with that. Now I’m sticking to my owner like fleas to a whore (and don’t ask me how I know that, I have memories of my third owner). I’ll be glued to his hand and not let go ever!
Oh, and hi by the way! I like to be called th dspllr. *sound of laughing ensues* You see, that’s a joke because I left out the vowels even though I don’t have to. I like to call myself The Dispeller. Do you get it? I kill me!
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