[Subby]

Like a lot of middle aged men, I don't have any terrible habits (like secretive snorting of liquid cocaine or addiction to estonian strip clubs), but I have a ton of minor habits that make me unproductive, unhealthy, and most likely repulsive to the large majority of people I run across (think of the guy in the commercial who hires three teenage girls to follow him around for behavior modification purposes (oooh. that's...gross). I'm that guy.

I cannot do anything in moderation. Anything. A-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. My self-discipline is awful. Always has been, always will be. If I buy a pint of Ben & Jerry's and bring it home, it will be gone in my tummy in under 2 hours.

"But why don't you dish it out into a ramekin and make it last three days?"

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Fuck you.

I am a disgusting, over-eating, over-sleeping slob with zero discipline and only a little more self-control.

"But you ran a marathon in this past March! That takes DEDICATION."

It was a bet. I won money as a result. I was incentivized. Barely. That's the problem. Lack of discipline makes it hard for me to follow through on much of anything. I am terrible at planning and organization and am master of when-the-spirit-moves-me. Yes, I am a nightmare spouse.

Anyway. Over the next 30 days I am going to identify one poor habit per day that is costing me personally - whether it be financial, professional, social or health. So day one, I will list an item and quit it cold turkey. Or I will list an item and start doing it hot turkey. Then day 2 I will add a new item AND list the item from the previous day, and so on. At the end of 30 days I will have a list of shit habits that I want to eliminate.

At the end of thirty days I will be left with just one vice. Katy Perry's #1 SUPERFAN.

After the first thirty days, we'll see where we are. Reassess. Maybe celebrate by doing all thirty things within the space of 5 minutes. Maybe.

Here we go.

"Because when you have no willpower and no self control and no discipline, a checklist will solve all of your problems!" - other people, to me.