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Suicane75 · 02-22-2013, 03:34 PM

Here Comes The Boom: 4.6 Out Of 10 Stars

It's nothing special, but it's not especially awful either. I really think Kevin James could be very good in the right vehicle, he's warm and sincere, and this may be his best film to date that puts that on display but it's just too hokey. UFC shit is so shoehorned in that at times it plays like a commercial instead of a movie. And the reality is that the film just isn't very laugh out loud funny.

The supporting cast is decent, although I have no idea why Salma Hayek is here. She isn't given much to do. Bas Rutten is decent, but there's something weird about his character that just didn't connect with me. Henry Winkler was.....fuck man, I dunno, he was good I guess, but I could never get over the idea that I was watching Fonzie.

It's a Sandler movie, so the script is about as generic sap as you would expect. In fact it plays a lot like an extended sitcom situation.

So yeah, a generic sitcom that thinks just having a heart is enough to make it worthwhile. It does not.

Here Comes The Boom, but it's more like A Bleh.

Resident Evil Retribution: 2.3 Out Of 10 Stars

I love Milla, my gosh do I love Milla. But enough is enough with this crap already.

I loved the first RE movie and liked the 3rd one, the even numbered ones were less enjoyable but I got through them. This one was just an exercise in tedium. It takes a lot of work to make 90 minutes of non stop action boring, but I'll be damned if this film doesn't pull that off to the nth degree.

Alice wakes up in an underground station run by the corporation, or whatever. Woman can't finish a job for the fucking life of her. Anyway, she conveniently gets helped by some Asian chick and then some mercenaries come down to help get them out. The station is somewhere in Russia underneath a frozen lake.

The commandos fight zombies and shit, and Alice fights zombies and shit, and there are scary monsters and shit and lot's of shit gets blown up and exploded and run over and shit. There are fight scenes between people that go on too long and are so over choreographed with music blaring over them that they might as well be a bad Norwegian techno dance video.

Characters we've seen for nary a few moments give soliloquies and we're supposed to be moved. The fucking Red Queen can make cities appear out of nowhere and conjure up an army of zombie soldiers and mutant monsters but she can't just spray some fucking nerve gas? It's all so silly.

Despite having 4 pretty hot chicks, there's nothing very sexy about the movie. It's just a jumbled pile of loud CGI.

The good news is that the ending sets up what appears to be yet another jumbled pile of loud CGI, so we have that to look forward to.

The Sessions: 6.6 Out Of 10 Stars

Story about a guy confined for the most part to an Iron Lung who can't move on his own who wants to have sex with a woman. Helen Hunt plays a sex therapist who helps him out, so to speak.

The good part of the film is that it's not overly sappy. The guy is just a guy, it doesn't try and make him more of a martyr than he already would be, just for the fact that he's in such a bad way. He has his quirks and bad parts just like anyone else. The part that's not so great, and this might be me being greedy, is that it didn't give me all that much empathy for the character outside of his health issue.

It just didn't resonate with me on the level I was hoping. William H. Macy is good playing a priest who tries to help the lead out, but man, the haircut was a bit much for me, it was distracting. It just screams out 'I'm an old guy trying to look much younger than I am'.

Helen Hunt is good too but she's pretty much just playing Helen Hunt. She's very nude in the movie and it is pretty graphic in it's sexuality if that sort of thing bothers or interests you.

A solid film with a subject matter that's refreshingly out of the norm but in no way are the script or performances so good that they deserve the Oscar hype they were receiving a month or two ago.

The Sessions is a well written, well acted movie with sweetness and tenderness that also features Helen Hunt sitting on a guys face for an extended period of time. You could do worse, I just always felt like I should have been enjoying it more than I was.

02-22-2013, 03:34 PM	#5223
Suicane75 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: NJ	Here Comes The Boom: 4.6 Out Of 10 Stars It's nothing special, but it's not especially awful either. I really think Kevin James could be very good in the right vehicle, he's warm and sincere, and this may be his best film to date that puts that on display but it's just too hokey. UFC shit is so shoehorned in that at times it plays like a commercial instead of a movie. And the reality is that the film just isn't very laugh out loud funny. The supporting cast is decent, although I have no idea why Salma Hayek is here. She isn't given much to do. Bas Rutten is decent, but there's something weird about his character that just didn't connect with me. Henry Winkler was.....fuck man, I dunno, he was good I guess, but I could never get over the idea that I was watching Fonzie. It's a Sandler movie, so the script is about as generic sap as you would expect. In fact it plays a lot like an extended sitcom situation. So yeah, a generic sitcom that thinks just having a heart is enough to make it worthwhile. It does not. Here Comes The Boom, but it's more like A Bleh. Resident Evil Retribution: 2.3 Out Of 10 Stars I love Milla, my gosh do I love Milla. But enough is enough with this crap already. I loved the first RE movie and liked the 3rd one, the even numbered ones were less enjoyable but I got through them. This one was just an exercise in tedium. It takes a lot of work to make 90 minutes of non stop action boring, but I'll be damned if this film doesn't pull that off to the nth degree. Alice wakes up in an underground station run by the corporation, or whatever. Woman can't finish a job for the fucking life of her. Anyway, she conveniently gets helped by some Asian chick and then some mercenaries come down to help get them out. The station is somewhere in Russia underneath a frozen lake. The commandos fight zombies and shit, and Alice fights zombies and shit, and there are scary monsters and shit and lot's of shit gets blown up and exploded and run over and shit. There are fight scenes between people that go on too long and are so over choreographed with music blaring over them that they might as well be a bad Norwegian techno dance video. Characters we've seen for nary a few moments give soliloquies and we're supposed to be moved. The fucking Red Queen can make cities appear out of nowhere and conjure up an army of zombie soldiers and mutant monsters but she can't just spray some fucking nerve gas? It's all so silly. Despite having 4 pretty hot chicks, there's nothing very sexy about the movie. It's just a jumbled pile of loud CGI. The good news is that the ending sets up what appears to be yet another jumbled pile of loud CGI, so we have that to look forward to. The Sessions: 6.6 Out Of 10 Stars Story about a guy confined for the most part to an Iron Lung who can't move on his own who wants to have sex with a woman. Helen Hunt plays a sex therapist who helps him out, so to speak. The good part of the film is that it's not overly sappy. The guy is just a guy, it doesn't try and make him more of a martyr than he already would be, just for the fact that he's in such a bad way. He has his quirks and bad parts just like anyone else. The part that's not so great, and this might be me being greedy, is that it didn't give me all that much empathy for the character outside of his health issue. It just didn't resonate with me on the level I was hoping. William H. Macy is good playing a priest who tries to help the lead out, but man, the haircut was a bit much for me, it was distracting. It just screams out 'I'm an old guy trying to look much younger than I am'. Helen Hunt is good too but she's pretty much just playing Helen Hunt. She's very nude in the movie and it is pretty graphic in it's sexuality if that sort of thing bothers or interests you. A solid film with a subject matter that's refreshingly out of the norm but in no way are the script or performances so good that they deserve the Oscar hype they were receiving a month or two ago. The Sessions is a well written, well acted movie with sweetness and tenderness that also features Helen Hunt sitting on a guys face for an extended period of time. You could do worse, I just always felt like I should have been enjoying it more than I was.