Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
When my friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down
Cuz my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
I've never known what it's like to experience that type of bed expansion or feel that sort of lyric texture alteration. But oh so damn well do I know the agony of a tearing heart, a wounded soul of a cherished name spoken with the undercurrent of Never yours, Never yours, Never yours.
She contacted me yesterday to ask if I wanted to visit them some weekend this summer. I told her I needed to check my schedule, which means I won't. Distant pain is minor and manageable to the point where I don't notice it. Immediacy is one of Dante's infernal circles. Plus, I can't help but be reminded of Gatsby's shock at seeing a little girl. The tangible, three-dimensional announcement that yes, it was that other man's spear that struck home. Boy and girl? Worse yet. Not only did he strike at least twice, his conquest was so complete as to create another masculine miniature of himself.
I wanted to buy a bottle of wine at work after that short exchange (*Invitation* *Schedule-check* "Okay, let me know. Gotta go." "Okay, bye."), but the only kind we have our those with corks in them, and the last time I tried to get a cork out since I don't have a screw and have never had any kind of screw, it ended in splinters floating in the liquor and a broken bottle when I tried to extract it via a butter knife.
So let us repeat endlessly the Mars anthem while Venus-banished me relates further the miseries of CK 2...
Remember how I said more bad news was coming?
I seem to remember an idiot son in a previous game. I'm cursed with moron issue. Wafna! Wafna!
Maybe I'll get a brilliant daughter who will make me want to risk Gavelkind's tempest?
...FMCK2L.
Well, let's get her married off.
Yay, alliance! Now watch, he's probably a vassal to somebody, so won't be much else. I'm too lazy to check, though, because...
Back to war! This time I don't screw around and wait until I'm loaded for bear to attack, and by the time the dust settles...
I GET THE POWERUP AND WIN MY FIRST VASSAL! WHO DOESN'T HATE ME! JOY JOY JOY!!!
But I'm checking things afterwards and realize something horrible:
Death to the Byzantines for blinding my still insanely hot blonde wife!
...But we got a long way to go before that happens, especially with The Imbecile waiting in the wings.
What will get me over my depression?
Improving my capital!
And....
RAIDING!!!!!!
...That escalated quickly. Needless to say, we get destroyed, losing every single man, so I pack my fleet up and go home, feeling like a total and complete failure as a Viking. It gets even worse when somebody shows me the cost of this expedition.
OMG I'm the worst.Viking.ever. Not only do I epic fail a raid, I lose money in the process. I feel like hanging my head Eeyore styo now. "Hello. Thanks for noticing me, big bad army that killed my puny raiders."
We grimly sail into Medelpad, sorrowful at the disastrous expedition.
...What? I don't know how the hell that happened, but.. I'LL TAKE IT! As the wise Rosie says in White Men Can't Jump, "Sometimes when you lose, you really win."
Going to be a long, long time before we can do anything, though. A long, long time.
...Yeah. I wish I drank beer right about now. I want to get completely smashed. Here's Rosie again, "Sometimes when you win, you really lose."
I'm as pathetic as Woody Harrelson, without the awesomeness of a Wesley Snipes to get my head straight and get me hearing Jimi. Or at least *try* to.