[NoSkillz]

Sat. May 31, 2024

FA Cup - Final
Tottenham (6th in English Premier League) vs. Dover (2nd in English Premier League)
Wembley Stadium, London, England

Betting Odds: Tottenham: 7-4 Draw: N/A Dover: 5-4 (Favourites)
Past Meetings: 9W 4D 2L

Ok here we go! The one major title we’ve yet to win and we face Spurs for all the marbles. We have two huge 4-1 wins against them this year and we’ll look to keep up our fine form here at Wembley today. They are led up front by American striker Peter Jansen, who scored 24 times this year but Jean Junior is arguably their most dangerous striker. He has 15 goals thus far. Talented right fullback Gustavo Mercado is hurt and will miss today’s game.

We are going to miss Jose in the middle of the pitch today and in his place will be Neil Cairney, who has big shoes to fill. Mads Pedersen will start at ML over Arsene Bamba, who is struggling to regain match fitness. Paul Moses will also be on the bench today. Otherwise, we go with all of our main starters. Control mentality as slight favourites today!

Dover: 4-4-2 Control
GK - M. Perez
D - Renato Gaucho, C. Contreras, R. Hamon, S. Loucif
M - M. Pedersen, N. Cairney, B. Raab, G. Bolis
S - A. Broomes, Chiquinho
Bench - Rafinha, S. Nasri, E. Harvey, A. Rocca, A. Bamba, G. Allan, P. Moses

Spurs are in a flat 4-4-2 as well and it’s Junior and Jansen up front, with goalie of the year Angel Detry in net. Lets bring home another title for the fans!

33’ - Good action both ways but I’d say Tottenham are the more dangerous team thus far. I swap Broomes and Chiquinho, moving Chiquinho into the advanced role and also swap Benedikt Raab and Neil Cairney, moving Raab into a deeper role that he excels in.

HALFTIME - We end up edging them on the stat sheet, with 52% of possession and a 10-7 (2-1 on target) shot advantage. We’re not getting much from guys like Gianluca Bolis or Andy Broomes and I’ll be quick to make changes in the second half if necessary. I once again tell the team to bring home the title for our supporters.

56’ - Boy, I’m getting sick and tired of Chiquinho and his diving and super inconsistent play. He is pulled off and in comes Paul Moses, as we look for a spark up front.

76’ - We are looking more dangerous but this game smells like it’s going to penalties. Neil Cairney already has a yellow and I should likely take him off but he’s our top penalty shooter so I keep him on for now. In comes Graham Allan for an ineffective Gianluca Bolis.

FULLTIME - Possession is only in our favour by a 51-49% margin but shots are widely in our favour, 21-11 (5-3 on target). Still, we move to extra time and have some key players tiring, including both our central mids. I tell the team we only need one goal - now go and get it!

97’ - We have a corner and Raab’s cross is to the far post and Claudio Contreras. His header deflects of Paul Moses in front of the goal and bounces out to RENATO GAUCHO, who delivers a right-footed blast into the top corner of the net! Holy CRAP! That’s Renato Gaucho’s FIRST GOAL OF THE YEAR! He RARELY joins the play on corners but was able to go into the box on this play when Tottenham brought all their defenders back. What a development! DOVER GOAL 1-0

118’ - Getting TENSE, as Tottenham are sending everyone forward in hopes of getting the tying goal. We pull out an exhausted Cairney and bring in Andrea Rocca. We also pull back into a counter attacking mentality. Just a few more minutes…hold them off boys!

119’ - I laugh my ass off as Spurs are offsides on a long pass attempt and Manuel Perez, our Mexican keeper, takes about a full minute to go and grab the ball from the stands and place it at the spot of the offsides. I’m seriously expecting a yellow card but one doesn’t come.

WE HOLD THEM OFF!!

Tottenham 0 - 1 Dover (Extra Time)
Goals - Renato Gaucho (8.6)
Assists - Benedikt Raab (8.2)
Man of the Match - Renato Gaucho
Other Dover Notables - Manuel Perez (7.1), Salim Loucif (7.4), Rayane Hamon (7.7), Claudio Contreras (7.9), Neil Cairney (7.4)
Attendance - 90,000 (Sell-Out)

We ended up with 53% of possession and a 30-15 (9-5 on target) shot advantage. Incredible that Renato Gaucho comes through for his first of the year to seal the win.

DOVER HAVE WON THE 2025 FA CUP TITLE

-- We earn £1,836,000 for winning the FA Cup title, our first FA Cup and that seals the deal on the last major trophy our club had yet to win. In effect, there is nothing else for us to achieve, other than repeat titles. I chuckle as our board “always expected the team to win the competition, are pleased you didn’t let them down and are keen to impress on you that celebrations are kept to a minimum in order that the club focus on future challenges.” Haha - LIGHTEN UP FRANCIS!!! We pay out £1.3 million to our players in squad bonuses for the title win.

-- Well, it’s not quite the Premier League or Champions League titles like last year but we close out a season where we won the Community Shield, The European Super Cup, the FIFA Club World Championship AND our first ever FA Cup. All in addition to a quarterfinal Champions League appearance and a second place finish in the league. Not a bad year.



Champions League Wrap Up

-- Olympique Lyonnais win the battle of France, defeating rivals OM 4-2 to win the Champions League title for the first time! Congratulations to OL!

-- We earn a whopping £21,739,000 in Champions League television revenue. ROCK ON! We pay out £775,000 to the squad on a pro-rata basis for reaching the quarter-finals. We’ve been WAY in the red on our bank balance all year and finally get back into the black to the tune of ~£10 million. Still, we’re going to lose a ton of money on the year - likely close to £20 million due to transfer fees despite revenue being up on the year.

-- OM’s Vasily Tkachenko wins the Champions League Best Player Award and the Golden Boot as top goalscorer in the competition with 11 goals. He was certainly a thorn in our side in our quarterfinals matchup.