Quote:
Originally Posted by MrBug708
Probably wouldnt have bared your soul to her, but rather pushed the dating aspect of it. No reason to make her think you're too eager
But better to know now than know later
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Point of clarification: I did no soul baring. Literally what I did was ask her out on a date, and she said, "As friends? Sure." At this point, Izulde should have taken this and run with it, but considering not two days before in a class where we were discussing someone's research paper topic (how social media has affected social relationships), the very distinction between hanging out and dating came up. Plus, I was sick and tired of being the nice guy all the time, so answered, "..Well...no." And that's when she said simply that she wasn't ready. I did have a bit of a physical shock reaction, admittedly, but that was it. Said I understood, all that (which is true).
Then she texted me, saying she didn't know how this happened, and what caused me to misunderstand her - that though we've only known each other a few months, it feels longer than that, and like I'm one of her closest, oldest, best friends. That she also wasn't entirely over her ex, etc, and only wanted a close friendship with me.
I didn't feel like getting into the whole how/why the misunderstanding arose, so to spare us both the hassle, I simply said it was my fault for misreading how she felt, and that I thought she liked me like that. And that I'm terrible at judging how people feel about me (which is true, incidentally). I also added that nothing has changed - it's simply clear how she feels now. I added that this isn't the first time in that situation, where a girl's considered me a close/best friend and I thought there was a chance of something more. Got over that and she's still a close/best friend, and that's what will happen here. I did further say that I would have asked her out at some point anyway - it's just that my thinking she had interest in me now, which made me do it sooner, which was good, so we could get it sorted out.
At no point did I ever specifically say anything about any depth of feeling, or my own feeling hurt - I simply stabilized and alleviated her own emotions (anger at herself for somehow making me think I liked her, depression and fear that she was going to lose me as a friend, etc.)
Now if all that counts as soul baring *shrugs* so be it. But I'm not sure that it was, TBH. Even if it was, it was a far less level than I used to in the past (I have, in my background, an annotated mix CD and a love letter written for two different girls that made them cry with the respective items' beauty and eloquence).