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Yeah, when I was little I would wrestle with myself all the time and severely bruise the shit out of myself. A doctor called Dyfus on her and she had to go through a whole rigamarole about whether or not she was abusing me. The good thing about it was she became friends with one of the social workers who would slip my mom some government cheese on the down low, on account of us being poor. And I take no shame in saying that government cheese is/was fucking awesome.
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