Quote:
Originally Posted by tarcone
I agree with the keeping it private sentiment. I look at those Duke kids who got killed in the media when the accusations turned out to be false. A lot of guilty until proven innocent there.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where people want their 15 minutes. And both sides are getting crushed.
I dont think there is an answer. in the case of a he said/she said, it is tough sledding. The accuser has the fear of not being believed and figuratively killed in their life, while the accused has the same thing.
I guess you should keep yourself out of situations where bad things can happen. I use the example of my 16 year old daughter getting invited to a party tonight. It is a HS party where no one can leave. Sounds like an accident waiting to happen. She doesnt drink, but we all know how drunk HS boys can act. She isnt allowed to go. And, honestly, I dont think she wants to. There was no fight about, she made alternative plans to hang out with a friend whose parents wont let her go either.
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Yeah, the Duke thing is a prime example of what I am talking about. On the flip side, the Penn State scandal is the prime example of the other side. In one the boys were convicted by the mob. The other, the system totally failed to protect, and the fear of the humiliation kept the abused silent for decades. I think what is happening now is a good thing. We need to encourage victims of abuse to come forward and protect them. Let's face it, there are way more legit acts of abuse that are never reported or silenced if they are reported, than false accusations. Maybe the answer is we do need this time of "trial by mob" to swing the balance of more attackers being shamed and convicted.
As to your last comment, yes it seems reasonable to suggest that people should protect themselves. You have to be careful in this current even making that suggestion, or you will be accused of "blaming the victim." Honestly, in most cases it was not that the victim put themselves in a dangerous position. A seemingly innocent situation can turn into something horribly wrong. Other times, you can hear these stories and think "what did he/she think was going to happen?" Even then, though, it is not the victims fault. Maybe it was bad judgement to go back to the hotel room with this person, but that does not give a green flag for assault.
Again, I'm not giving answers because I have none.