[Izulde]

So, approximately two years later, I left. I was exceptional at the job (I started breaking company metrics records after about two months and helped bring the website up to the top 1 million in Alexa rankings - key for HARO submissions), but no raise in those two years despite my success, the expense of Lyfting to and from work every day (~$600 a month) crippling my ability to save any money, and increasing mental health issues (to the point where I suspected a heart attack was imminent), it was time for a change of scenery.

I left in February. COVID hit. Mass applications to high school teaching positions ensued.

A few months later, old employers contacted me, wanting me to come back part-time, with the deal that I could work remotely. By this time I was almost out of money (see: Lyft eating my ability to save anything), so I took it. It's kept me afloat.

Mental health improved too, but it still waxes and wanes. Those of you who follow my Facebook know what utter vandalizing assgoblins I have for neighbors in this complex and what a completely useless sack of shit the HOA that I have to send $155 a month to is.

So, 14 different interviews for teaching positions to date - smashing the record of 3 the summer I was offered to teach in China before I spotted some real shadiness in the contract that would have bent me over, and where I finished second with a wonderful private school that still remains the single best interview I've had to date ever.

End result: 2 schools interested, but they're places where the curriculum is detailed down to the individual day. No room for deviation, no room for flexibility or, you know, actually adjusting to the individual class and student. So I noped out of them - with that type of militancy and restrictions, they're looking for vending machine bodies.

Every single interview has been with a low SES/trauma-informed school, which I honestly don't understand, and the complete opposite of that other hiring season, where one was an excellent Catholic school and the other was for high-achieving Chinese juniors and seniors with plans to study abroad in the US or England.

So right now, I'm a bit at sea. A lot of anger, a lot of frustration, a lot of realization just how alone I am in this city. Even my local friends - I ask if they can help me with stuff, they say sure, but when it gets down to brass tacks, it's one fucking excuse after another. Even shit friends do like hanging out, just once in a while I'd like them to offer to pick me up or come to my place. Nope. Too much effort for them.

Moving to a small town is looking more and more attractive by the day. I can be the resident quirky writer/educator. The problem them is to do that, I need a job landing spot and housing prices and situations that won't put me in the paycheck to paycheck scenario I've been in pretty much my entire working adult life.

Sure makes me wonder where the fuck I went wrong in life that I ended up how I have. I'll be bluntly honest - there's some nights when if I didn't have the dog and feel responsible for him, I probably would have checked out.