Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos
You're right, Jon. And you and Will have my sympathy. It's been such a tough road for both of you. It must be so hard just to muddle through each day after going through losing your wife/mother like you guys did. I wish there was a way to make that healing process easier/faster for you.
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Thanks, I appreciate that.
I wish there was something - anything - that would make this process easier but damned if I've found such a thing.
"Muddle through" is a pretty good description of what it's like. "Good" days are the ones we get to the end of without a feeling that I've started to describe as getting kicked in the balls. That's kind of the ceiling so far honestly.
I'll be honest about it: I'm on the backside (I hope) of probably the roughest couple weeks to date, doing
anything just feels next to impossible, I struggle to even f'n mindlessly app game with any consistency (I can usually sink quite a few hours a day into that just for some frame of reference)
Everything brings a sense of loss, a sense of dread. A great example is how we're both dreading the impending start of football season. My wife was a classic Southern woman in many respects, not the least of which was that she was as avid a Saturday football watcher as any man. You ever wonder who would watch Kentucky vs Vandy in late October in the absence of any other football option, she was the answer to that question.
The routine around here was long established, it wasn't unusual for as many as three games to be going simultaneously. One down here in the batcave, another in the den, and Will sometimes watching a third while floating between the two rooms and watching with both of us.
And whatever football season feels like this year, it won't feel anywhere near the same. Or right. And that hurts, and it sucks beyond all the words that I know.
I'm fucking sitting here in tears just trying to describe it, THAT is how much we dread it. But you know where I live. Ignoring this time of year simply isn't a remotely realistic option.
So we'll face it. And try to figure it out.
That's kinda what this experience and process is like. Virtually everything, every day, feels like what I just described to some degree or another.