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Old 10-15-2005, 01:01 PM   #60
Buzzbee
College Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by oliegirl
I don't know which post this is in regard to, but it reminded me of something that is driving me crazy, so I'll post about it:

Anthony has recently started a very annoying habit. When he does something wrong and one of us says "Anthony, why did you do that", or "Anthony, be careful", or "Anthony, pay more attention to what you are doing"...his response is to look at whoever is talking to him with this stupid expression - kind of like to say "I know you are speaking English, but I have no idea what you just said to me". He stands like this, not saying anything or doing anything, until one of us tells him what to do. Case in point...

He had a plastic glass on a coaster, and when he picked it up, the coaster was attached to the glass - I told him "Anthony, watch what you are doing" but he stood there and just looked at me until the coaster fell off the cup and onto his dinner plate which was covered in syrup (waffles for dinner every once in a while). Then I said "Anthony, please pay more attention to what you are doing", at which point he balanced the plate on one hand while trying to pick the coaster out of the syrup...which is when I said "No, just leave it and put it in the sink to be washed"...but it was too late and the coaster slipped out of his hand and landed on the carpet. I figured he would be smart enough to know to put the plate down, pick up the coaster, and then bring everything into the kitchen to be washed. But he just stood there. So I said, "Pick up the coaster"...he picked it up and stood there. So I said "Put everything in the sink", but he just stared at me...which is when I lost it and yelled for radii to come handle the situation. Once everything was in the sink and the carpet was wiped up, I figured I'd get an "I'm sorry" - but nothing, he just continued to stand there like a bump on a log. Which made me angrier. So I looked at Richard and said "All that, and we still haven't even heard I am sorry"...Anthony says "I'm sorry" and then we go through the speech about how if you have to ask for an apology, it doesn't really mean much and if you do something wrong, just apologize for it and then fix it.

Fast forward to yesterday - we get over to my dad's house to hang out awhile before karate. After about 2 hours, we head out and I see that his car door is open...I say "Why is your door open"...he looks at the door and says "I dont' know". I say "Well, did you close it"...he says "I guess not". So I take some deep breaths, get in and start the car...as we are backing out of the driveway I say "Hmm, still no I'm Sorry". He says "I'm sorry" but clearly doesn't mean it, and I have to go through the whole speech again.

I never thought saying I'm sorry was a difficult thing. We have told him millions of times that just saying it means alot to the other person, and that it's a good thing to say when you have done something wrong or messed up - even if it's just something small. Any ideas of how to get this through his thick skull????

My first thought is that since these were 'accidents' he doesn't feel a need to say he is sorry. If he intentionally got syrup on the carpet, I'm guessing an "I'm sorry" would follow. Since he didn't intend to leave the car door open, and since no harm was done, he probably doesn't think there is a need for an "I'm sorry."

Just my guess.
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