[Sidhe]

When I walk the sidelines I have to use a cane. I keep it in my right hand even though most people would assume I’d use it in my left, since it’s my left leg that’s gone. But my left leg doesn’t hurt, not like the right one does, when I have to stand for long. The plastic leg – it chafes and often leaves a bruise if I overdo it. This wouldn’t happen if I had a new leg. They make a lot of really nice prosthetic legs now, but I can’t afford them and I’ve never kept good insurance. That’s part of the past I’m not telling you about, why nobody wants to insure me. But as I walk along the pitch, I use a cane, and I limp. I can see the theatrical usefulness of this image, but I don’t give a damn about that. I wish I had two good legs. If I did, I’d still be playing.

So when I watch a guy with two good legs coast through practice, I get a little uneasy.

That’s not the right word.

“Mr. STAMP! If I see you coasting like that again I’ll pull off this leg and beat you half senseless with it! Being as you’re half-witted now, that’d leave you with only a quarter of a brain. I want hustle, I want desire!”

Stamp doesn’t like being talked to like that. In fact, judging by his eyes, he hates it, and he probably hates me for it too. But he’s a guy who needs his fire stoked, he won’t keep it hot himself. Used rightly, that kind of motivation will make Stamp play like the player he should be.

Stamp is popular, and I can see some of the others are considering whether I should talk to him that way. Hemmings in particular. He’s a true hard-head, and tough as nails. I’d call him loyal, except it seems his loyalty is always toward the worst in people, and I don’t want to dignify it with a good word like “loyalty.” If there is trouble, you can be sure Hemmings will be in the middle of it. The only one he’ll listen to is Bristow, which is lucky. Bristow has his head on straight. He’s got natural ability and he cultivates it. That’s the kind of player I like. He’s not a star, but he’s solid. He is a good captain.

Other problems on the squad are already apparent. Ogbodo is arrogant, but I can take that if he applies himself. He does so, sparingly. Peters thinks he’s God’s gift to football and it’s only a matter of time before he’s playing in the upper leagues. He’s good, I’ll give him that. And he’s faster than I thought. He’s the fastest of my strikers, but he doesn’t play like it. I think he gets caught up imaging the things he’s going to do with the ball.

The friendlies are over. We didn’t do as well as I’d have liked, but we did establish some things. Taylor and Ogbodo will start most games at forward. McClurg hasn’t been as good as I’d hoped. He needs to hone his skills a bit. Walker is still a backup, and the fact he’s backing up Ray points to his needing a lot of help. I’ve tried to get them all a little more help. I’ve brought in new coaches. It seems I’ve caused a bit of a stir through this.

“We’ve always only had the one coach and the managers,” said Peters. As if he couldn’t hear himself! Haven’t we always been in Conference South? Maybe the two are related? Maybe? His lack of ambition scares me, but I’m stuck with him for five years. I don’t dare fire him, at least not yet. He’s the “safety blanket” for the board. They like him, and they don’t think they know me yet.

But I put my foot down and we got five new position coaches. I don’t think it’s enough, but I’ve already thought about that. I’ve got my eye out for player/coaches. I don’t have anyone on the squad right now I’d trust with the job, but I have my eyes on a pair of guys. My players need individualized coaching. There’s no way around it. It’s the only way a team like ours, with no money for big time transfers (not that anyone would come here anyway) can compete with the larger clubs.

And we haven’t had enough substitutes. I can afford to hire enough guys for a full second eleven, but they wouldn’t be good guys. I don’t think we need that many subs, but we do need a few. I’ve been scouring the scouting reports every day, looking for some help. I wouldn’t mind bringing in a front-line player if it was in the middle.

Andrews finally made it, but he’s not a savior. He’s got very good skills, but he’s slow. I’m thinking of bringing in two more attacking midfielders – who are also player/coaches. Craig Maskell and Andy Sinton. Sinton can play on the wings as well, which makes him all the more attractive. I’ve heard back from Maskell and I think he’s going to come in. I’ve said Taylor would start most games at forward, and he will, but if Maskell comes in this week, I’m starting him in our first game against Hayes. He’s a veteran and I want him to know I value his skills. And I want my guys to know I’m not happy with the way they’ve been playing.

“Mr. STAMP!!”