[SirFozzie]

(some time passes)

Leave (formerly known as group 1): well, it's not great, but I think we can agree to this.

EU: It's the least bad option.

Hardcore Leavers: Wait, we promised everyone that we'd take control of borders and trade and sticking it to the EU. This doesn't go nearly as far as we thought it would. HELL NO! NO DEAL CRASH OUT! WE'LL CUT OFF OUR NOSES TO SPITE OUR FACE.

EU: That's a bunch of cutting, have you looked in the mirror lately?

Hardcore Leavers: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

EU: Oh nothing (to the Leavers): They're your problem. We've stated our terms. The least bad option is our deal. The next least bad is watching you leave, and using you as an object lesson to anyone else who wants to leave.

Leave: You know, that Cameron strategy looks better and better all the time.

Hardcore Leavers: BURN IT DOWN! ANARCHY IN THE UK!

Leave: OH SHUT UP WILL YOU. Look, take the deal.

Hardcore Leavers: No.

Leave: Look, it's this deal or no deal. It would cripple our economy for decades to come.

Hardcore Leavers: You say that like it's a bad thing compared to sticking it to the EU

Remainers: Since this is so intractable, maybe we should go back to the public and ask them what we should want to do?

Leavers and Hardcore alike: NO SHUT UP! WE WON THE VOTE FAIR AND SQUARE. SURE, WE BROKE ELECTION LAWS AND LIED OUT OUR ASSES TO DO SO, BUT NO TAKE BACKS!

Leavers: Ok, now that we've taken care of the Remainers, let's have another vote. It's either this deal or we have to delay Brexit. We don't want that.

Hardcore Leavers: OPTION C! NONE OF THE ABOVE! RULE BRITANNIA AND FUCK THE EU!

Leavers: Good thing is that we're only a couple weeks away, and although we've asked twice, all we have to do is wait and they have to take the deal. Sooner or later, they will come to their senses.

(Speaker Of the House): Um.. there's a problem with that.

Leave: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHAT NOW???

(Speaker of the House): we have precedent that you can't keep asking the same question until you get the answer you like.

Leave: WE OBJECT!

(Speaker) It's a 400+ year old precedent. What do you object to..

Leave: WE OBJECT BECAUSE IT"S HARMFUL TO OUR CASE!

(Speaker) Did you just use a scene from Liar Liar to complain about politics?

Leave: WE OBJECT!

(Everyone) OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT, THE NO-DEAL CLIFF IS COMING, AND RIGHT NOW, ANY ONE OF THE EU27 LEADERS CAN DECIDE TO CUT THE BRAKE LINE AND SEND US FLYING OVER THE CLIFF.

Hardcore Leavers (some of them at least): WE WANT THEM TO CUT THE BRAKE LINES!

Everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP!