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I mentioned this elsewhere, but this Christmas we drove out to Maine to spend time the holiday with my family. Usually I just fly out with my two boys which works out well since my wife (and thus boys) are Jewish and we don't celebrate Christmas in the house, plus my wife is allergic to cats, and my parents have cats, so when we visit with her, we have to rent hotel rooms or a house, whereas if I go with my boys we can stay with my folks.
Anyway, this year we packed everyone (including the dog) in the car and drove out. Here's the reason why.
My Dad has Alzheimer's. He's 78. He retired 10 years ago and got his first diagnosis of Mild Cognitive Impairment 5 years ago. It was upgraded to Alzheimer's earlier this year.
In general when we've visited for family gatherings you don't notice much, since there's always a lot going on and you might notice some forgetfulness, but it never seemed like a big deal. Of course, what my Mom describes on a day-to-day basis is pretty bad.
In September I went out there to help them for 2 weeks after my Mom had knee replacement surgery. Staying with them, and just them, for 2 weeks gave me the up close and personal view of his condition, and it is not good. It was 2 of the most exhausting and anxiety-driven weeks of my life and took me a month after coming back before I could even talk to my wife about what it was like.
So, anyway, we all went there for Christmas this year since this is quite possibly the last Christmas where he'll remember who everyone is (although he forgot who people were, immediate family members, anyway, so we might be past it).
I am helping my Mom with legal and financial preparations. Luckily (ugh) my wife went through something similar when both of her parents died in 2021 (one to a different form of dementia, one to an autoimmune disease, it's been a really rough last few years for us), so I'm not starting from scratch and with the help of lawyers and accountants we have everything set up at this point.
I don't know where I was going with this, but guess I just wanted to share/vent. It's a terrible disease and it's going to be another shitty year from this perspective, especially as I think this will be the year that my father basically disappears, and is replaced by a blank shell who is not my father.
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