Thread: Stalls
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Old 07-30-2015, 10:49 PM   #526
Julio Riddols
College Prospect
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Bryson Shitty, NC
This would make a fantastic Coen Bros film.

'Greenskeeper'

Starring Paul Giamatti as caddy Roy Baker

John Goodman as course owner Leland Cartwright III

Steve Buscemi as groundskeeper Pete Wrigley

William H. Macy as semi pro golfer Charlie "Slice" Martin

and Tom Cruise with a cameo as homeless lunatic and heroin junkie Pooper Jenkins

With quotable lines like

"Dammit, Roy.. I told you to check the hole before I shot. Both my balls are covered in shit now! It's gonna play hell with the trajectory!"

and

"Does this guy even wipe?"

and

"My daddy built this place with his own hands, and I will be damned if I am letting some midget with... digestive issues.. ruin the biggest tournament we have ever held here!"

and this memorable exchange:

"I'm not doing it."
"Not doing what?"
"I'm not cleaning the giant turd on hole 16."
"Well goddammit Pete, why not??"
"I have dignity to uphold Mr. Cartwright. I have a wife and kids!"
__________________
Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused.

FUCK EA

Last edited by Julio Riddols : 07-30-2015 at 10:59 PM.
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