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Craig, I appreciate your updating this, you're in a situation that every parent fears I think -- not Asperger's specifically or even any one thing, but rather, a situation that you can't "fix" ... because I think at some level that's what we all really want to be able to do -- just make whatever is wrong for our kids better somehow.
One thing that strikes me right now, after doing some quick brush-up reading on Asperger's -- you may have to make some choices that you aren't wild about, given your general feelings about medicating basically only when it's absolutely neccessary.
Even though most of the medication prescribed for those with Asp. just treats symptoms rather than providing any sort of cure, that may be an important part of accomplishing what you said at the end I just don't want him to grow up to be hated -- in this case, the drugs may not be absolutely unavoidable ... but they may be preferable to the results of not treatment some of the symptoms.
I wish you all the best with this, I wish there was something more we could do to help.
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis
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