[CraigSca]

Yet another update for everyone (or at least some therapy for me).

Our son began 1st grade 3 weeks ago. It's a long day for him (8:45am - 3:30pm) and his first exposure to a full day of school. Because of this, we were a little worried, since he really wasn't happy with half-day kindergarten. Before the school year began, we met with the principal of the school (who is just wonderful), a guidance counselor and had conversations with his 1st grade teacher, to let them know what type of child our son is. He's actually in a class that will have two teachers because it's a combo normal/kids with disabilities like dyslexia environment. We thought that was great, especially to have a teacher in the room with some kind of special education background.

The first week went pretty well, 2nd week was "okay" and now the third week has transpired. We've been in contact with his teacher and guidance counselor to make sure he's doing okay once he gets to school because he has been refusing to go. Today was a typical example - he had absolutely nothing good to say about anything - he is, by far, the crabbiest child I have ever witnessed. But the thing is...he's not doing this to be a jerk - he truly is NOT happy (how a first grader could ever be this unhappy is beyond me). He says the school day is too long, everything is boring, it's stupid, etc. Today's walk to the bus stop had him literally crying because he didn't want to go while the rest of the neighborhood children were waving and smiling to their parents.

We received a phone call from his teacher this morning saying that the first week was good (in fact, when the principal contacted her to see how he was doing in class and the potential for issues, the teacher remarked, "are you sure?! he's fine!"), the second week was okay, and last week was a disaster. Apparently, they have a series of benches they use for storytime and his table was called to come up to the benches last. There's room for 9 kids on the benches and if you're not called in the first 9, you sit on the floor. When he approached the bench, he saw there was no room and therefore pushed a girl off the bench so he could sit there. The teacher immediately took him out in the hallway and asked him why he did it - he said because she was in his way - that's a perfect snapshot of him right there - there is no "gee, I better not do that" - it's pure impulse. The teacher tried to make him see that pushing someone is absolutely unacceptable and all THAT did was make him mad at her - he gets the glowering face and scowl look. Finally, he said he understood that it was wrong and then gave the teacher the scowl along with severe attitude the rest of the day (I know, I've been on the receiving end of the completely illogical "I'm mad at you" face). The teacher told us he repeatedly says "This is boring" and "This is stupid" throughout the day. So far, there's no talk of being expelled (which is a huge fear of ours) but the teacher admitted he is a challenging child and that it must be very frustrating to parent him.

Currently, we're in therapy with him once a week - though we have a huge gap now as there were no appointments available for a month when we switched to his new school schedule. I like the therapist a lot, but I sometimes feel we should be there daily instead of once a week. Once a month, he is also seeing a psychiatrist - we've only seen him once and we're not sure about him yet.

He's playing soccer now, and that's been a pretty pleasant surprise. He's played two weeks and there have only been a handful of times where we've had to tell him not to push the other kids or not to be a bad sport (he was razzing the other team at one point).

Things haven't really been going well - but you reach an equillibrium where you make-do with the cards that life deals you. However, this phone call today from the teacher really made us wonder. What is in store for this child? He's in FIRST GRADE. As my wife likes to point out (because I forget sometimes) he is thoroughly unhappy - and we can't forget that. But the thing is, he wll find something to be pissed/unhappy about in most any situation. When he's having fun, he gets miffed because it has to end. If he's not having fun, he'll let you hear about it ad nauseum.

Thanks.