Originally Posted by PilotMan
This one is really hitting me hard. Much harder than the KY shooting a little while ago. I'm angry, I holding my boys, who are in HS, longer than normal. I was talking with the Mrs this morning and I've always said that if I had to choose between the kids and my wife, I'd choose my wife, because she is my other half.
However, the strangest thoughts and feelings occurred to me today. I realized that if we were split apart and if something happened to one of us, leaving the other, we'd be completely crushed and heartbroken. I do feel like we'd be strong enough to move on and see life through though. On the other hand, if I lost one of my boys, in this way, I'm just not sure I'd be able to see another sunrise. It's a level of pain and anguish that I'm simply not prepared to deal with. The thought of it is like a knife in the heart. I just can't rectify this new change in how I feel. It really goes against my entire thought process thus far.
I could have, hell I may have wrote this same post after Sandy Hook. I can remember being deployed and sobbing uncontrollably as I watch the news coverage on AFN. I think that may be why I have arrived at a point of trying to look at this without any emotion whatsoever. It is not something that I can ignore with a wife who's a teacher and a son going to the same school. The thought of receiving that phone call or those texts leave from my wife and/or son leave me in a very dark place.