Luckily for me, I've never had to directly deal with it in a relationship nor was I ever "close guy friend". My personal experience has been seeing what happens with friends of mine who have dealt with this. A few girls who I knew with close guy friends and a few times friends of mine dating girls with close guy friends. From what I saw and heard, regardless of the circumstances (whether she knew or not), it was a situation to be avoided.
I know you've been on the "close guy friend" side before, so I've been trying to dance around it and not be insulting to your our your "BFF"s. (warning: That means I'm probably about to be). I just don't get the whole dynamic of that friendship. Whether she knows how he feels or not. I don't get why a guy would want to be "BFF"s with someone he knows will not feel the same way for him, and I don't get why a woman would be "BFF"s with someone she knows is in love with her. I don't get why either side would want that kind of friendship. Looking at it from the outside, she either comes off as a clueless twit for not knowing how he feels, or something even worse when she does.
I mean, if I had a friend who was a girl and got along great with her but I had no desire to date her, and then I found out she was in love with me...I don't think I could go on being friends with her. I'd feel awkward around her. I certainly wouldn't feel right bringing new girlfriends around her knowing how she feels. I'd feel like a major dick for doing that.
Regardless of the exact circumstances, I'd just rather avoid that whole situation. It's a red flag to me whether she knows or not.
(That doesn't mean I'm saying DT shouldn't bang the hell out of her before moving on!)
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And no, I didn't try to act against any of them or anything like that. I wouldn't want somebody trying to play me like that, so I didn't.
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It's good that you did the decent thing, but I've long since given up on expecting people to do the decent thing.