[NoSkillz]

Wed. September 28, 2022

UEFA Champions League - Group B
Slovan Bratislava (0-0-1, 0 points, 4th) vs. Dover (1-0-0, 3 points, 2nd)
Pasienky, Bratislava, Slovakia

Betting Odds: Slovan Bratislava: 11-5 Draw: 11-5 Dover: Evens (Favourites)
Past Meetings: 0W 0D 0L

Bratislava is a bit of a mystery, as the Slovakian First League is unplayable in my universe. They went undefeated through the first two qualifying stages but lost 3-0 to Sevilla in their group play opener. They only have three players valued at over a million pounds and it's a small club that's valued at only £20 million. Dover favourite Ben Hunt, who was one of my top strikers while I was in the lower leagues, comes out and mentions their top player in the press but he's only rated as a 1 star player by my scouts. I'm guessing they are overmatched but since the game is on the road, I won't take them lightly.

That said, we are going to rest a couple of players in this game but will have them on the bench should the need arise. Manuel Perez will start in goal, Kostas Zagos will play left fullback for Renato Gaucho, Daniel Traore will be on defence instead of Claudio Contreras, Mancini will be in for Andrea Rocca and Said Henni will start up front for the injured Shanon Andrea. We're favoured so I'll go with a control mentality to start despite being on the road.

Dover: 4-4-2 Control
GK - M. Perez
D - K. Zagos, D. Traore, R. Hamon, S. Loucif
M - A. Bamba, N. Cairney, Mancini, G. Bolis
S - S. Henni, Chiquinho
Bench - M. Yilmaz, C. Guzman, G. Fanfoni, A. Rocca, G. Allan, Z. Bardi, P. Moses

Bratislava is also in a flat 4-4-2. Their forwards are Juraj Rehak and Nail Guschin. Ivan Penkov is their danger man at right midfield and their goalkeeper is Bohdan Spanik. I tell the team this is a winnable game and pull aside Chiquinho to tell him I expect a performance like the Burnley game. By the way, we're wearing our alternate kit today, which is a blue and black striped jersey with black shorts, something that is VERY rare.

4' - We have the ball in their end and Kostas Zagos moves it to Mancini and he quickly passes to Neil Cairney. From way outside the area, Cairney unleashes a curling rocket that goes past Spanik into the far corner of the goal for the early stunner! CAIRNEY!!! Molten hot! DOVER GOAL 1-0

14' - Arsene Bamba with a perfect cross to an unmarked Gianluca Bolis but his header is over the goal.

16' - We have a corner and Cairney's cross is booted into the net by Daniel Traore for seemingly his first in a Dover kit but there's Chiquinho AGAIN with a foul, disallowing the goal. Come on man!

35' - We're dominating play but just aren't getting any shots on target.

37' - Cairney with a free kick on the right sideline and he passes to Mancini lurking outside the area. His blast is destined for the far corner but it's headed out by one of Bratislava's defenders.

39' - Mancini again, this time off the crossbar!

40' - FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! Chiquinho dives in the area AGAIN and it's a yellow card. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?! The last striker I had that did this all the time was Robbie Benson and I sold his ass after one year. This is happening every game now with Chiquinho and it's killing us.

43' - Cairney with gorgeous corner kick to Daniel Traore but his header is turned aside in brilliant fashion. We just can't get that second goal.

45'+1 - Bamba is taken down hard just outside the box down the left side and he takes the free kick. He goes back to Mancini, who immediately shoots - it's heading wide but it strikes Daniel Traore in the head and deflects into the left corner of the goal for the shocker! Traore deserved a goal and he gets one in the most unorthodox way possible! DOVER GOAL 2-0

HALFTIME - We're dominating against a team that simply isn't a match for us. We hold 62% of possession and outshoot them 14-2 (3-0 on target). We need more shots on goal and I encourage the team in the dressing room. I tell Chiquinho that I'm angry at him - this is a bit of a risk, as there's obviously no way for Chiquinho to know that I'm angry at his diving but I don't care right now. It's driving me mad.

56' - In just a superb individual effort, Said Henni takes the ball at midfield, splits three defenders and bursts toward goal. From 20 yards out, he unleashes a rocket that goes off a diving Spanik and into the net for the beauty! Great goal Henni! DOVER GOAL 3-0

With a commanding lead, I take out Neil Cairney and bring in young on-loan midfielder Gian Marco Fanfoni for his first ever senior team match.

60' - Henni with another great run but his shot is weak and right at Spanik.

61' - Salim Loucif with a yellow card.

63' - We work a lightning fast counter and it's Henni sending a great ball upfield for Chiquinho to run into. He's in on goal but Spanik dives in spectacular fashion to thwart his fine effort.

72' - Bratislava have a goal kick and Fanfoni heads it back over their defence and who is there first but Chiquinho? Of course, as usual, he makes up for his blatant diving with immense skill as he rounds Spanik and easily puts the ball into the empty net. Fanfoni gets an assist in his debut!!! DOVER GOAL 4-0

We take out Arsene Bamba and insert Paul Moses, moving him up to striker and Henni moves to left midfield.

75' - Now I bring in Graham Allan, taking out Gianluca Bolis.

88' - Chiquinho with a long-range blast and it's off the cross bar and out of play!

Easy win!

Dover 4 - 0 Slovan Bratislava
Goals - Neil Cairney (8.2), Daniel Traore (8.5), Said Henni (8.2), Chiquinho (8.0)
Assists - Mancini 2 (8.3), Arsene Bamba (7.8), Gian Marco Fanfoni (6.9)
Man of the Match - Daniel Traore
Other Dover Notables - Salim Loucif (7.4), Rayane Hamon (7.4), Kostas Zagos (7.5), Gianluca Bolis (7.0)
Attendance - 4,943

We outclassed them in every way, with 59% of possession and a whopping 31-2 (8-0 on target) shot advantage. Mancini has four assists in his last two starts and Traore was very effective in a man of the match performance. A great win with a few key players getting some much needed rest!

-- As usual, we earn £696,000 for the Champions League win!

-- In other Champions League action, Olympique Lyonnais won 2-0 over Anderlecht and Dortmund knocked off Aab 4-0 in Group A. In our group, Sevilla beat Porto 2-1 away so we move to the top of the Group B table on goal differential. In Group C, Galatasaray beat up Panathinaikos 5-1 while Man United win 2-0 over Celtic. In Group D, in a humiliating contest, Barcelona get a hat trick from former City striker Enrique as they ring up a 10-1 win (!!!) over Dinamo. In the other Group D match, it's a beauty for neutrals as AZ and Palermo battle to a fun 4-4 draw.



Premier League Stuff

-- In the buildup to our weekend league match versus Chelsea, their manager, Leonardo, praises me and tips us as the likely Premier League champions. I decide not to comment but I'm asked about it in our press conference and just brush the question aside. I've never really engaged in mind games in this dynasty and don't plan on starting now.



October Update

-- The games keep coming, as we have four very tough Premier League matches (AT Chelsea, vs. Reading, vs. Manchester United, AT Aston Villa), a Champions League home tie versus Sevilla and our League Cup 4th round match versus Everton in Liverpool. So six more matches to play this month.

-- We get positive training reports for Gian Marco Fanfoni, Renato Gaucho and Arsene Bamba, along with youth players Phil Whitbread, James Campbell and Daniel Wagner. Negative reports come in for Daniel Traore, Zoltan Bardi and Johnny Mardenborough. I'll be chatting with those three...



Premier League Monthly Awards

-- Man United striker Ishak Belfodil wins Player of the Month honours, with Shanon Andrea coming in third place.

-- DC Claudio Contreras put together a great month after the sale of Paulus Tjiuoro and is named as the Premier League Young Player of the Month for September! Renato Gaucho finishes second.

-- Leonardo from Chelsea wins the Manager of the Month award and I come in third for September.



Next Up

-- A huge early season Premier League road tilt versus rivals Chelsea.