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End of Week 2
Like last week I'll review the things I did this week a bit.
Routine Activity - Teeth Brushing - Meh? I did notice that attempting to be mindful here did keep me from rushing through the boring daily task, and it did keep me from wanting to just race on to the next thing. I never really got into any sort of "awareness" here, sort of like mindful eating... being super aware of the sensations of the bristles of my toothbrush, blah blah blah. But hey, maybe if you "slow down" a few routine things here and there throughout the day you are all of a sudden not on "autopilot" as often.
Mindfulness Meditation (aka Sitting Practice) - So this is something that will clearly benefit me if i continue to do it, posture and diaphragmatic breathing are two huge things I've learned to work on in physical thearpy, and they are the basics of this. Depending on my current posture (and whether i'm sore/tired/wahtever), this is "easier" than the body scan, in the sense that "focus on your breath" is a nice, simple instruction. I can do that reliably, where the results of "think about your toes, now think about your foot, now your knee" is a much more complicated process by comparison.
I tried to do this briefly a few different times. After finding it directly beneficial to do in the waiting room at the dentist office, I tried to do it last night at an urgent care clinic that I took my mom to last night (she's fine), mainly in an effort to pass the time. I found it impossible. Loud TV+Music at the same time in that office, mainly the TV, it was so loud I could hardly hear the music being played in the office. I found it impossible to pull my mind away and to my breath at all. I still tried to do it off and on the whole time I was there, and as always, there are benefits from the breathing even if I deemed the practice "unsuccessful" since I couldn't focus.
Body Scan - I continue to mostly like this, even as I continue to find myself massively distracted throughout most of it with frequency. I remain fascinated that my reactions/thoughts are so different every time. I mean, that seems like common sense, but always thinking "huh, wonder what is gonna happen this time" makes it feel like less of a chore.
One thing I noticed with the meditation and the body scan this week is a "curiosity" that I am finding myself having. "Hey, what happens if I try this at the dentist office?" ... "I just got really frustrated at my teammates in this stupid online game, wonder how I would react to a body scan right now?" ... "Well that was a shitty stressful morning, maybe I should take a break and do this thing". I'm very happy to notice this.
Its not exactly the "Beginner's mind" pillar, not the way I am thinking of it. In this, I AM a beginner. I do still find myself 100% unable to approach something mundane as if I had never done it before, etc.
But I do consider it a good sign that I'm actually embracing this stuff, and not treating it like "ah shit, I have to do that thing today" That beginners mind pillar remains the only one I'm really uncomfortable with. All of the others, in the context of these practices, make sense.
Yesterday the body scan turned into a weird "oh I just had a new and pretty strong thought and decided to think about it and act immediately". Last night trying to do the meditation practice in a louder area just didn't feel possible. In both cases, my response was 'oh, ok, that's just what this is going to be this time." I'm feeling good about that.
We have a different instructor tomorrow. She teaches one of the other classes (there are multiple running at the same time). So that will be interesting, hopefully in a good way.
In the same e-mail that we learn about the new instructor its mentioned that "She will be co-leading the Day of Mindfulness on March 28."
March 28 sure doesn't seem like a long ways away. I mentioned that at some point in the orientation week... a 6 hour "retreat" with multiple classes all together at the same place where most of the time will be spent in silence practicing everything we've learned. REALLY doesn't seem like far away, thinking about that is still a little unnerving.
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