[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by miami_fan

This is going to be rambling and dark but besides Twitter, this is my only social media present.

There is a man that I have known for over 13 years. The two of us served together in the same military unit for four years, We got along pretty well in general, but we also got into some truly heated political and social discussions. We tend to be on opposite sides of the political aisle on most though not all things. Not on the extremes by any means, we were very comfortable letting each other know where we stood. Even if we were not arguing, we would definitely give each other shit about our positions. He is one of the few people on the "other side" that I will raise my blood pressure to engage in those types of conversations. While we have come to the brink a few times, despite all of that, I consider him a dear friend. In fact we would call each other our One____________ Friend. On more than a few occasions, one of us has been the only "one" in attendance of the other's special occasion,whether that was racial, political, non family member or something else. He knows my family and I know his wife and son. We communicate in some way at least once every couple of weeks or so

At the beginning of this coronavirus crisis up until that weekend before St Patrick's day, he would say things like it was just the flu. it was no big deal, he was going to the bars, etc. My posts here reflect that by that time, I once again was on the opposite side of him. We had our usual back and forth but of course neither of us would back down. This was another one of those occasions where we just had to agree to disagree and go mostly silent with each other soon after.

About two hours or so ago, my wife came into my office and showed me a Facebook post. Someone posted that my friend's 22 year old son died from complications from COVID-19. I just sat here and began to cry. After the tears, I tried calling my friend twice and got no answer, I know him well enough to know that his phone doesn't usually leave his side so I am guessing he is not taking any phone calls. I texted him to call me when he is ready. If I am being honest I have no idea what to say to him if he called right now after the initial condolences.

Truth be told I have been swinging back and forth from seething anger to deep sadness. I feel am supposed to cuss his dumb ass out for him being fucking stupid. I know he did not put the virus into his son's body. It's irrational and ignorant. I know that but that is what I feel. That feeling immediately is dwarfed by just pain and sadness. I watched that boy grow up into a tremendous young man whose parents were super proud of him. I know how much my friend loved his boy and how important that boy was to his father's life. He is without question a great father. The reality is I know that my friend is dealing with unspeakable pain right now and I want to help him deal with that. The thing is our relationship is one in which we will raise the bullshit flag on one another in a heartbeat. I can't come to him with something insincere. I can't come to him and say who could have known. I can't say it is part of some plan. All I know is it is really rough when you actually put a face on all those numbers.

Thanks for sharing. I think despite everything, you're in the right place here. You know how you want to come across and you know and have the deep sadness that this situation brings. I'm sorry to hear this. My oldest turned 25 this week. Nobody should ever have to bury their kids. Kudos to you for being important to one another. I have had friends who could really get me going, and some I have just waved off and sent them on their merry way. It's hard to know where your relationship will go now. It does seem though that you are in the right place. Nobody has the right words.