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It wont go away as long as you spend every day wallowing in self pitty and hiding behind the bottle. Eventually you're going to end up killing yourself and hopefully not somebody else. You need to get your shit together and stop thinking that this is amusing or interesting to anyone.
You need help and you need alot of it. At first you may have been amusing but now it's just pathetic and sad. While a large part of me wants to tell you to just shut the fuck up already, I do realize that you have a disease and need help. But as long as you, and i have no doubt that you do, look forward to sitting alone in that room, getting drunk and posting about it on the internet you arn't gonna get any better.
I know you have a job (gods know how you manage that) and a car, and a family that worries about you, so use that stuff as a crutch to get yourself started towards a sober life, because if you keep this shit up you are gonna be dead sooner rather than later.
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