This would make a fantastic Coen Bros film.
'Greenskeeper'
Starring Paul Giamatti as caddy Roy Baker
John Goodman as course owner Leland Cartwright III
Steve Buscemi as groundskeeper Pete Wrigley
William H. Macy as semi pro golfer Charlie "Slice" Martin
and Tom Cruise with a cameo as homeless lunatic and heroin junkie Pooper Jenkins
With quotable lines like
"Dammit, Roy.. I told you to check the hole before I shot. Both my balls are covered in shit now! It's gonna play hell with the trajectory!"
and
"Does this guy even wipe?"
and
"My daddy built this place with his own hands, and I will be damned if I am letting some midget with... digestive issues.. ruin the biggest tournament we have ever held here!"
and this memorable exchange:
"I'm not doing it."
"Not doing what?"
"I'm not cleaning the giant turd on hole 16."
"Well goddammit Pete, why not??"
"I have dignity to uphold Mr. Cartwright. I have a wife and kids!"
__________________
Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused.
FUCK EA
Last edited by Julio Riddols : 07-30-2015 at 10:59 PM.
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