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Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
Week 2
Well, it’s well after midnight in Beijing, time to call in Mr. Eggers and tell him he just doesn’t have any potential at QB. At 6’0”, 195 pounds, we aren’t given the option of making him into a lineman, so our two logical choices left are FB or OLB. FB might be a good choice, but I don’t know what kind of offense we may have in two years when he would be at his best and I think he may have some chance of actually developing into a respectable FB. We already have two phenomenal sophomore OLB’s, so putting him here in effect makes him a towel boy, which just seems perfect for a potential Heisman QB. Donnie, could you step into my office? You threw an incomplete pass in practice today Donnie, and the coaches and I were thinking that you might not have what it takes to be a starting QB. Look at your size compared to Wendell Goodwin! You’re more than 50 pounds lighter than he is. To make this short Donnie Boy, here’s number 57. Go see our defensive coordinator. He’ll introduce you to something called an Oklahoma drill.
Donnie’s new OLB ratings…
Run Defense 4/4
Pass Rush 4/4
Man-to-man Defense 4/4
Zone Defense 4/4
Endurance 100/100
Special Teams 4/4
Oops. Looks like he lost a step there. But, my, he is in good shape, isn’t he? Let’s see what kind of condition he’s in two years from now.
Thanks again to all who voted and participated! This was the best turnout ever!
Let’s try out our new and improved towel boy in action!
Recruiting
The goal this year is to balance our roster as best we can with low football talent. The more I think about this noble quest, the more I think about how much of a shame it would be to come short of our goal by getting fired—that ominous threat that is always hanging over our heads. So I am going to get some brighter players in here and actually try to support the academic end of things a bit more with the newer recruits. Maybe if they are brighter they will be able to better reflect upon and suffer from the failures they have as men on the gridiron. With that in mind we scatter some scholarship offers over the lamest, bright football players we can find.
Our idolizers are coming to town. Our Rudy Scholarship candidates are considering their options.
Game
This should be a test. Ranked #10, we travel to #18 Purdue to play a game the oddmakers say is even. Is Goodwin a Culpepper clone or a one-time flash in the pan? The coaches have him starting with his broken finger and all; maybe that will lead to a few more interceptions. QBEggers doesn’t even show up on the depth chart. Such a pity. Towel boy, where’s my orange?
The result
Yes! Defeat!!!! We did it. Final tally Purdue 27, Notre Dame 17, but it was a squeaker that went right down to the wire! And wait till you hear what our hero Goodwin did! First, here’s his line: 13-34, 193 yards, 1TD, 4 Int. Much much better than last week! He started right off with a bang. He gave Purdue the ball deep in our territory with a interception on the second Notre Dame possession. Purdue managed to botch that chance, but soon after that Goodwin had the ball deep in Purdue territory after a Notre Dame interception. He managed to get himself sacked and cough up the ball to Purdue! Way to pee points down the drain, Goody! RB Wolfe is such a pain in the butt that we actually were tied 17-17 with 6 minutes left in the game, Notre Dame ball, first and ten from our own 34. But Goodwin saved his best for last, for on the second play of this drive, he throws his 3rd interception of the day. Purdue makes the short hike in for the score, and we go down by 7 with 2 minutes to go! On the next possession, Goodwin throws his 4th interception of the day, the coupe de grace for us. Purdue adds a meaningless field goal with 13 seconds left to end the scoring. What a fine all around effort! Clearly, the Kekkonen Game Ball goes to Mr. Goodwin for his all around stellar effort today. He just may be the player we had hoped he would be! Way to go, Goody! Keep it up!
Record 1-1
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