As part of my many raiding adventures, I'd captured prisoners, including...
Note that this picture comes from before Valdemar the Gold Idiot's majority, so she's younger than what she is now. Naturally, I make her my concubine, but I wait util after I've been married a few months.
And of course, she's the first one to pregnant. Out pops a daughter.
But wait, there's more! She gets pregnant a second time, and
almost immediately after, the Chieftess gets pregnant, too. Valdemar the Gold Idiot.. doing his ladies like a boss!
Unfortunately, this becomes a problem.
*Two* sons, the first one which is named Bjorn after Valdemar's father, the second of whom you see listed here. It's interesting that concubine's offspring are given equal inheritance rights as those of proper marriage issue.
And then, all Hel starts breaking loose.
King Ivar the Boneless marches on my liege, still Petty King Fairhair for the rights to Norwegian territory.
...Well that ended quickly. Wonder what King Fair-
On what? OH HELL NAWH! HOMEY DON'T PLAY THAT! FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! And yes, I did actually scream FYA out loud.
Resisting the urge to hurl my keyboard and mouse at the screen, I immediately declare war and show Nancyhair what real Vikings do (which is raise the levies and hire a fatty stack of mercs)
Let this be a lesson to you, kids:
1. Don't screw with angry Vikings made rich from raiding.
2. Be careful who you pledge fealty to. As you can see in that picture (or could if I was posting this online, which I'm not), when your liege loses a subjugation war, -ALL- of the territory in the kingdom goes to the new ruler, including that of your vassals. Which means I got hosed out of Jamtaland. Thanks again, Nancyhair. Dick.
He gets the right idea and goes and takes land from some other fool instead.
But by this time, I've had enough of Womanhair. Getting what's mine back isn't enough. So screw the fact that I'm now a Truce-breaker. It's on like Donkey Kong, bitch.
So long, Assclown of the Girly Hair.
I wait a few months. And then comes the sweet song of the Valkyries.
No, I didn't die. I... ascended!
A glorious moment in the House of av Jamtland!
But realistically, we're exposed. The Scottish could come calling at any time, and let's not forget the Ugly Gray King, under whose de jure dominion we are. Sadly, there's only one thing to do.
This way, we don't have to go through a time and resource wasting war when he eventually declares against us, and the Ugly Gray King should be able to protect us better than Womanhair did.
A few more capstone pictures.
#1. The mighty Boneless King
AKA 80 Year Old Badass.
#2. The King Jarl
Somewhere along the way I had a third son. Succession gonna get ugly. Speaking of which...
#3. The Ugly Gray King
#4. Northern Europe
Yellow Outline = My Domain
Black Outline = Kingdom of Sweden's domain, including some continental conquest
Red Outline = Kingdom of Scotland's domain, including pieces of England and Ireland
White Outline = Womanhair's domain, a mere fraction of what he once had, thanks to Boneless's ruthlessness and the former's own stupidity in taking one of my territories.