[MIJB#19]

Ellis "Who the Fuck is Ellis?" McAlister retires
The football career of Ellis McAlister is over. A sixth round pick for the Maassluis Merchantmen in the 2074 draft that went from fourth choice to franchise quarterback after five full seasons without a single pass attempt. He defied all odds of not being a first round pick or a quarterback acquired through trade or signed as an expensive free agent to become a 9-season starter, missing just 1 game in those seasons and guiding his team to the AOC Championship game in the 2085. He was released during the 2088 off-season and signed by the Arizona Miners for a one-season stint there, then sat out the entire 2089 season as a free agent. The Merchantmen claim to have contacted McAlister's agent to sign him late in the regular season, in case Brandon Bell would be diagnoses out for the remainder of the season and in an attempt to have him retire as a Merchantmen player, but the negotiations failed over salary cap issues. McAlister retires with a 86-67 record for the Merchantmen (6-7 for the Miners), while throwing for exactly 35,000 for the Merchantmen (3,343 more for the Miners), 218 touchdowns for the Merchantmen (15 for the Miners) and 152 interceptions (15 for the Miners).

Wide receiver Ronnie Hammond has filed his retirement papers after just one season with the Maassluis Merchantmen. Hammond offered Brandon Bell the much needed WR2 option opposite Theodore Bondy, but finishes the season with only 48 catches for 768 yards and 2 touchdowns.

Linebacker Glenn Brewer spent the 2089 season waiting for a phone call that never came, just like McAlister. A 2077 first round pick for the Merchantmen, he spent 11 seasons in Maassluis, receiving All-IHOF honors in his third season. In the 2088 off-season he was released for salary cap reasons, then signed a two-year deal with the Williamsburg Colonials, but was released there on roster cut day 2089, thus spending one season there. He made 43.0 sacks, 991 tackles, 10 interceptions, defended 86 passes and forced 22 fumbles in his 12-season career. He played in 174 regular season games and 13 playoffs games for the Merchantmen, including the lost 2078 and 2085 AOC Championship games.

Defensive end Gino Kemp also spent the whole 2089 season without a team. A fifth round pick in the 2080 draft, he joined the front seven rotation in the 2081 season for the Merchantmen. After 8 seasons, he was released over cap reasons in the 2088 off-season, then briefly was on contract with the Kansas Creationists (without seeing the field) that season and despite being re-signed there in the 2089 off-season, he failed to make their regular season roster. In 115 regular season games for the Merchantmen he made 39.5 sacks, 129 hurries and blocked 26 passes. He played in 9 playoffs games for the Merchantmen.

Defensive tackle Erik Shrader is yet another off-season cap casualty, who spent the entire 2089 season without a team. Shrader was a fourth round pick in the 2080 draft and worked his way up to become a full time starter in the 2084 season. After 127 regular season games and 9 playoffs games for the Merchantmen, he was released in the 2088 off-season and was then picked up by the Moontown Darksiders for 7 games, to be released mid-season by them.

Safety Emmitt Miller was the Merchantmen's 2082 second round pick. After spending two full seasons inactive, he became a starter for the 2084 and 2085 seasons, to return to inactivity for another season and get released in the 2087 off-season. He then signed with the Paris Musketeers for two seasons, but after his contract expired, he spent the 2089 season without a contract in the IHOF. Miller played in 35 games for the Merchantmen, including the lost 2085 AOC Championship game. With 2 interceptions, 10 defended passes, 2 forced fumbles and 86 tackles, he's far from a memorable figure for the Merchantmen fans.

Linebacker Jace Peterson spent the 2088 season with the Maassluis Merchantmen, being a premier special teamer. Partly a result of the roster cuts wave to get under the cap, the undrafted rookie was active in all 16 regular season games, but almost exclusively on special teams, without making an impact as a tackler. He was released during the 2089 pre-season, then decided to pursue other opportunities after a season of watching the IHOF on television.

Kick holder Karsten Muchnick joined the Maassluis Merchantmen as an undrafted rookie in the 2079 off-season and became their fulltime kick holder from the opening day. He had that role for 156 regular season games and 9 playoffs games. With heavy protest from team management and ownership, the various head coaches let him pollute the quarterback position, attempting to throw away 4 blowout victories and disgusting the orange-white-and-blue uniform 4 more times in blowout losses. He was nevertheless a respected kick holder by his teammates.