Gentlemen and Slutty Nieces,
I am proud to announce that I am holding a fundraiser to benefit children I rescued from a burning orphanage. For the low, low cost of all your money and valuables, you will be benefiting kids in great need. Act NOW, and receive a signed photo of me & the littles giving each other high fives. Do it for the kids! Act TODAY!
Your heroic friend in need,
Booradley
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I hate you evil!
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