[Breeze]

The swim meet this weekend went well and I’ll update you on the information once the official results come out. However, that’s not what this update is for…

Lexi’s family is on an airplane this morning heading to Arizona to start their new life there. I’ve known about the impending move for months, and I was aware Paul (father) was looking for a new job for closer to 9 months, so I’m a bit surprised their leaving has hit me so hard. We were pretty close, as I saw them almost every day at practice, and typically we’d sit together for an hour or so while the kids swam. We’ve also gone out to eat together numerous times (typically after a practice or after a meet), and we’ve even hosted them and they’ve returned the favor. While all this is nice, it certainly isn’t earth shattering, or some tight level of bonding that would result in the mild depression I’m currently coping with.

So I examined other areas that are contributing to my current malaise. I believe part of it is that I’m losing a kindred spirit. Swimming is a tough sport, long hours, tough start times, not many breaks in the schedule, which makes it hard to interact with people that aren’t other swim parents. Swim meets are also long, as you wait for hours to watch your kid swim for 1 minute, so it’s nice to have someone to talk to during that time that you enjoy being around. It’s also nice to have someone who knows what you are going through, and that takes a genuine interest in the results of your child, actively rooting for them to do well.

In addition to missing the parents, I am going to miss the kids, as I have a good relationship with Lexi and her brother Ryan. They have both spent the night at the house (Lexi more times than I can count), and they are great kids, sweet and polite with great attitudes. Lexi, with her injury history, is a kid that you can’t help feeling and rooting for as she’s already over come so much that it is amazing. Now they will be gone and we won’t be watching them as the progress. Lexi has been with us so often over the last two years that she’s a bit like a family member. In fact, I help out with the team’s dry land on Wednesday, and we play dodge ball at the end of practice so the kids can have some fun. During dodge ball, I went out of my way to get everyone out except Lexi. After the practice, Bailey knew what I had done and she ran over gave me a hug and said, “Thanks Dad”…followed about 10 seconds later by Lexi, who gave me a hug and not prompted, not hearing what Bailey had said, completely unscripted said, “Thanks second Dad…”

However, with all that…and the above reasons are significant, the thing that kills me the most is the way it is impacting Bailey. Last night, after the swim meet, Bailey went out to dinner with Lexi and then to her house, while I stayed at the pool for Brett. When Paul brought Bailey home, those few minutes where they dropped her off were hard. Paul was clearly emotional, having seen the girls interact most of the evening knowing they wouldn’t be seeing each other again anytime soon (if ever). Seeing how it was impacting Paul, put a knot in my stomach. Then watching Bailey hugging Lexi goodbye, while tearing up. Trying to be big and put on a good face, trying to laugh off the pain, but starting to cry anyway. Lexi trying not to cry by teasing Bailey about the tears, but failing miserably. Then they walked out the door, and Bailey stood there, in the doorway, and watched them pull away. Then she turned to me, and completely broke down. I will be haunted by that look for a VERY VERY LONG TIME…and I have to admit I started to tear up…and I remained choked up all night (just writing this I feel my throat constricting and my eyes starting to water just picturing her face). In fact, I didn’t sleep well despite the fact I had spent almost 30 hours of the weekend at a pool and had gotten out of bed at 5:15 on Saturday and Sunday to make it down to warm ups.

Background…

This whole experience, is part of growing up, but it is really hard, especially for Bailey. Lexi moved to Atlanta about 2 years ago, and on her first day in town she joined SwimAtlanta, and from that day Bailey and Lexi were tight. They really gravitated towards each other. In fact, there were times that I had to remind Bailey that she needed to spend time with others and not concentrate so much on Lexi. I think each of them saw a bit of themselves in the other. They both have darker complexions, dark brown hair, brown eyes. They are short, and athletically built, and they both are competitive but sweet. The two always got along great they never had any fights, arguments, or problems. When they spent the night together at our house or theirs, the kids went to bed without fighting and they slept; they didn’t stay up until all hours of the morning just being silly. They made a great team.

Also you may remember from the earlier writings that one of the main reasons Bailey liked swimming was because she had so many friends. When we put her with Chattahoochee Gold she left most of those friends behind. We still see them on occasion, but nowhere near like the way she saw them prior to the change. At Gold the coaching has been much better, but in all honestly, there really aren’t any girls for Bailey to be friends with. Hailey (from the state relay) and Hayden (Hailey’s twin) are about the only ones, and they don’t come to practice everyday as they compete in other sports, and right now they are at soccer almost every night. So now with Lexi gone Bailey will be only girl swimming with 9 boys in the 2 fast lanes for practice, so there is no one currently around to fill the void, and with the hours we swim, she doesn’t get the chance to interact with many other girls in order to make friends.

Also as you may remember Bailey’s tennis coach had a stroke at the end of last Summer. Because their medical bills got so high, they had to move back down to live with family in Augusta. They left about 3 weeks ago, and when they moved Bailey lost her best friend from tennis as well.