so, the rough first is done. which, like i said, is like having a hunk of clay on the potters wheel.
everything needs an overhaul. particularly dialogue and pacing(beats) beats from wiki:
Quote:
Beats are specific, measured, and spaced to create a pace that moves the progress of the story forward. Audiences feel uneven or erratic beats. Uneven beats are the most forgettable or sometimes tedious parts of a film. Erratic beats jolt the audience unnecessarily. Every cinematic genre has a beat that is specific to its development. Action film has significantly more beats (usually events); drama has fewer beats (usually protagonist decisions or discovery). Between each beat a sequence occurs. This sequence is often a series of scenes that relates to the last beat and leads up to the next beat.
In most American films the beat falls approximately every five minutes.
Following is a beat example from The Shawshank Redemption:
• At 25 minutes: Andy talks to Red and asks for rock hammer. - Decision
• At 30 minutes: Andy gets rock hammer. - Event
• At 35 minutes: Andy risks his life to offer financial advice to Mr. Hadley. - Decision
• At 40 minutes: Andy notes ease of carving his name in the wall. - Discovery
• At 45 minutes: Mr. Hadley beats Bogs severely. - Event
After each beat listed above, a significant series of results takes place in the form of the sequence, but what most people remember are the beats, the moment something takes place with the protagonist.
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i've been listening to john updike and cormac mccarthy on audiobook to help get my vocabulary synapses firing so i can punch up the dialogue. i don't wanna go over the top with it as the characters aren't educated. i just want to add a little flavor.
i've had to reel things back quite a bit. my ambition was met with the harsh reality that i don't have the writing skills to pull off everything i wanted to do. it's probably for the best.
that said, i am pretty satisfied with the shape it's taken. if i can get to a point where i feel decent about it in a couple weeks i'll upload it to triggerstreet. if i get decent reviews there i may go ahead and enter it in the nicholl's. shitty or not, it's still better odds than the lottery.
it's silly to post anything as it'll undoubtedly change but in interest of the 'dynasty'
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