[Izulde]

I've spent the last few days thinking about what I'd do if I didn't get into an MFA program and I've decided that if such happenes, I'll go into a graduate program in History.

I realize I said before I'd do the MA English if I didn't get into an MFA, but over the past year and a half, I've come to realize more and more just how much I hate literary research and theory. I was talking to a close friend of mine last night about it and I finally was able to articulate some things, such as my opinion that literary research and theory is mostly an exercise in mental masturbation that's utterly pointless, but historical research, on the other hand, I've always loved.

This became even more acutely obvious last semester, when I had research projects in an English class and a History class. I despised doing the research for the English class and in fact needed the help of the same close friend from last night to find the materials to finish the project. But I greatly enjoyed doing the research for the History project, even though I'm not that big a fan of the 19th century and despite the fact that I bitched repeatedly about having to write the paper for it, I really liked assembling the story and making it fit all together.

I ran into my prof from the aforementioned History class today and talked with him for a while. He asked me what plans were after graduation. I told him I graduate in fall, then plan on going abroad a semester and coming back and going for an MFA program in creative writing, or if I didn't get into that, then a program in history. He said he'd write me a recommendation in both cases.

That really lifted my spirits, especially since I've had a really crappy last month and because he's the single best history professor I've ever had, and I've had quite a few good ones over the years. He makes students work hard and is a notoriously tough grader, but he's a brilliant lecturer who -really- knows his stuff and is as well-versed in literature as some of the English professors I've had.

So I have a backup plan in mind and feel really good about that.

I'll be scheduling to take the GRE soon, too, either next month or in April.