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Something I noticed after the body scan last night. I went straight from that into gaming mode, I joined voice comms with my gaming buddies and started talking to one of my good friends. I was... oddly mellow, I felt like I was talking a bit slower, I dunno, its hard to explain, but something was distinctly different, and relaxed, even though for the entire second half of the body scan last night my mind was wandering completely and I had very little focus. This wasn't a "waking up from a nap" type sensation or anything I am accustomed to. Just an observation. It lasted a few minutes.
Homework - Week 1 Wednesday
Mindful Eating - Made my nomal bacon and eggs. Was mindful of my first bite of the egg. No smell (sense of smell again). Chose not to touch :P In my mouth I note the smooth texture of the egg. Without chewing, I can detect the taste of the coconut oil I fry my eggs in. I can also distinctly detect the taste of cheddar cheese. There is no yolk in this bite. The egg is very soft, I could break it apart with my tongue without chewing if I wanted. I do this for a moment and then chew and swallow.
Body Scan - I experiment with laying on my side instead of my back. For the first half, the lower body part, I find that my mind is racing along at a pretty good pace, but at the same time I maintain partial focus on the audio and body parts being examined. Instead of coming and going and outright missing some areas, I find that I am in a constant state of being "halfway present". My thoughts roam from work to dinner to the incoming snowstorm. I settle on my left knee, and my right foot, without any problems. When we reach the pelvic region, I notice a moderately strong urinary urgency that is absolutely inappropriate (as in, I am certain I do not need to go, but I feel like I do). Its only moderate, but its very clearly there (**External Note: This isn't uncommon when I first lay down, but it did not happen the first two times I did this body scan. Laying on side perhaps?**). Even though I'm used to this sensation and not particularly distressed by it, I do focus on it for much of the rest of the scan. When the instruction moves up to areas of the back/chest, I take my focus there, but it bounces back and forth between that and this bladder sensation.
The audio here is a bit different than what our instructor in class did. There is talk about muscles, tendons, internal organs, and I find it actively takes me out of the moment. "Be aware of your stomach" vs talking about the fact that you've got a liver and kidneys and intestines in there working for you.. I dunno, I have noticed both days doing this at home that section has proven very distracting.
So anyway, this was a little different. Not good, not bad, just different. The persistent "half focus" feeling was different for me, compared to the feeling the other times of being pulled into and out of focus by my thoughts.
Routine Activity - I stayed up much later last night than normal. I had an early appointment this morning. I was unwilling to add extra time to my nighttime routine for this, so I skipped it. Noted, and the instructor has mentioned many times, if you don't do something, noting that and noting why is just as important as observing everything else.
Day 2 complete.
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