Front Office Football Central - View Single Post - Incompetence on Parade: The Life and Times of an Unknown Nobody(FM14)

Brian Swartz · 06-26-2014, 02:16 AM

THE JOB SEARCH

Or, a journey of a thousand miles begins because the person starting out was too much of an idiot to not just stay at home and never try in the first place. Or, the search for a homo sapien idiotic enough to hire me. Pick your poison.

I'll be using the following measure to track my progress:

Professional Approval(Current Rep): 15%. Sunday League starts out at 27-30%, depending on how you set up the game.
Local Name Recognition(Home Rep): 24%
Global Name Recognition(World Rep): 0%

The journey begins in the US, January 14, 2013. I'm 35. There are currently 77 head coach openings all over the world. I apply to them all, and several more during the initial interview process. This is only because they wouldn't let me apply for anything with less responsibility. Like say, equipment manager or waterboy, for which my experience is probably still insufficient.

I would eventually interview with nine clubs, most of them in Asia. Naturally the power centers of football had more fertile fields of home-grown, established coaches to choose from. Got a couple offers but their contracts would run out before the season began late in the year -- I needed something that would let me at least prove myself before the deadline. I invariably emphasized two things in the interview process that are central to my footballing philosophy. First, it's a player's game -- I'm not going to implement a specific system that a chairman, president, or tycoon wants to run. I would have my players in the positions needed for them to be successful, and I didn't much care how entertaining that was to anybody. Secondly, that I understood the financial side of a club was a matter for the board of directors, and not for me. My job was to put a competitive squad on the pitch, end of story.

I went on holiday, applying for every last job that came up. It wasn't much of a holiday really, just application after application followed by(when I was lucky) form letters suggesting that I should be committed for thinking they'd spit on me if my hair was on fire. Persistence pays off they say. It sure didn't at first. My fingers got so worn out that I began to thrw mi hndz up in dizgusst at mi lzoy typgni skilzzzz.

July 2, 2013 -- Finally I got a bite that meant something. It was on the other side of the world, a completely different culture, in decidedly suboptimal circumstances, but beggars can't be choosers, so ...

I'm headed to Indonesia. Specifically, to Persigubin Gunung Bitang in the Indonesian First Division, Group D. Inasmuch as their previous job search failed(presumably hiring me won out over dragging the bottom of the river by virtue of a coin flip), they are willing to give me a year-long contract for 4.5m rupiah's per week. At the present exchange rate of 10.3k rupiah's per dollar, that's the equivalent of about $437 weekly. That's not bad pay at all for somebody whose family barely admits they have heard of. In the interests of 'keeping it real', I'll be using the local currency, in this case rupiahs. Worth keeping in mind since the amounts sound like an awful lot until you do the conversions.

06-26-2014, 02:16 AM	#2
Brian Swartz Grizzled Veteran Join Date: May 2006	THE JOB SEARCH Or, a journey of a thousand miles begins because the person starting out was too much of an idiot to not just stay at home and never try in the first place. Or, the search for a homo sapien idiotic enough to hire me. Pick your poison. I'll be using the following measure to track my progress: Professional Approval(Current Rep): 15%. Sunday League starts out at 27-30%, depending on how you set up the game. Local Name Recognition(Home Rep): 24% Global Name Recognition(World Rep): 0% The journey begins in the US, January 14, 2013. I'm 35. There are currently 77 head coach openings all over the world. I apply to them all, and several more during the initial interview process. This is only because they wouldn't let me apply for anything with less responsibility. Like say, equipment manager or waterboy, for which my experience is probably still insufficient. I would eventually interview with nine clubs, most of them in Asia. Naturally the power centers of football had more fertile fields of home-grown, established coaches to choose from. Got a couple offers but their contracts would run out before the season began late in the year -- I needed something that would let me at least prove myself before the deadline. I invariably emphasized two things in the interview process that are central to my footballing philosophy. First, it's a player's game -- I'm not going to implement a specific system that a chairman, president, or tycoon wants to run. I would have my players in the positions needed for them to be successful, and I didn't much care how entertaining that was to anybody. Secondly, that I understood the financial side of a club was a matter for the board of directors, and not for me. My job was to put a competitive squad on the pitch, end of story. I went on holiday, applying for every last job that came up. It wasn't much of a holiday really, just application after application followed by(when I was lucky) form letters suggesting that I should be committed for thinking they'd spit on me if my hair was on fire. Persistence pays off they say. It sure didn't at first. My fingers got so worn out that I began to thrw mi hndz up in dizgusst at mi lzoy typgni skilzzzz. July 2, 2013 -- Finally I got a bite that meant something. It was on the other side of the world, a completely different culture, in decidedly suboptimal circumstances, but beggars can't be choosers, so ... I'm headed to Indonesia. Specifically, to Persigubin Gunung Bitang in the Indonesian First Division, Group D. Inasmuch as their previous job search failed(presumably hiring me won out over dragging the bottom of the river by virtue of a coin flip), they are willing to give me a year-long contract for 4.5m rupiah's per week. At the present exchange rate of 10.3k rupiah's per dollar, that's the equivalent of about $437 weekly. That's not bad pay at all for somebody whose family barely admits they have heard of. In the interests of 'keeping it real', I'll be using the local currency, in this case rupiahs. Worth keeping in mind since the amounts sound like an awful lot until you do the conversions.