[General Mike]

Secretary: Coach Mike, there's a phone call for you, says he has a proposal for you.
Coach Mike: A phone call? From who?
Secretary: I don't know, they didn't say.
Coach Mike: Isn't that your job? Did he mention what kind of proposal?
Secretary: I didn't think to ask his name. He said it was a job proposal.
Coach Mike: Interesting, thanks Beverly.

Coach Mike: Hello?
Mysterious caller: Hello. Is this Coach Mike? Coach General Mike?
Coach Mike: Yes, and who am I speaking to you.
Mysterious Caller: This is Ron English, head coach of the Eastern Michigan Eagles. I think I have an interesting offer for you.
Coach Mike: What kind of offer?
English: As you may know, Eastern Michigan has not had the exactly best track record, ever. I'm trying to turn things around and we could use some sharp minded young coaches to help. I thought you would be a good fit on our staff.
Mike: Ok, what did you have in mind? Something like a graduate assistant position?
English: Actually, I was thinking something a little higher up the totem pole?
Mike: What, like coaching the TEs? Making some recruiting phone calls?
English: Actually I was thinking you could come in and coordinate both our offensive attack and our recruiting efforts.
Mike: This can't be on the level. Who put you up to this?
English: I can assure you this is serious. If you are interested, we can have the guidelines of a contract sent over to you for your lawyer's perusal.
Mike: OK, I'm in. Send the contract over.

(3 days later)

English: I am pleased to announce to you the hiring of our new offensive coordinator for the 2011 season and hopefully many future years, General Mike. We can begin the Q&A now
Reporter1: Coach English, General Mike lacks any experience on the college level, what makes you think he can succeed?
English: I've heard good things thru the high school coaching community. Coach Mike brings great ties to our key recruiting areas; Michigan and Ohio. Hopefully with my ties in Florida we can really bring some top talent to Ypsilanti
Reporter2: Coach Mike, what kind of offense are you going to put out on the field?
Mike: We're going to install a pro-style attack. We're going to have 2 RBs on the field a lot. If the fullback isn't on the field, a 2nd TE will be. We may have some plays with 3 or 4 WRs on the field, but if we are playing well, we'll be coming out of the I-Formation and running it right into the teeth of the defense.
Reporter1: Are you planning on recruiting anywhere besides Michigan and Ohio?
Mike: I want to expand our recruiting footprint, but those are the key areas. We have some players from Canada and Illinois already so I think those will continue. Pennsylvania and Indiana are also options, and we have to go into Florida for a few playmakers every year.
Reporter3: Where does your name, General, come from?
Mike: You ever heard of anyone with the name Major? Well my mother wanted me to be even better than a Major.