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PilotMan · 09-13-2020, 09:50 AM

Gotta get a post in here today. I am sort of lost with how to handle something with my Mom. I was at her home yesterday to replace one tv and install another one. I know I've mentioned that I feel like she's so very close to heading down an unrecoverable path as far as her independent life is concerned.

It's sort of a long story, but the short of it is that she is terrible at organization, and she's rapidly losing mobility. Her knees are shot, she's overweight, and the doctors won't replace her knees until she loses weight, which she's been really struggling to do. She lives alone, and goes up and down, between good and bad days, and hasn't really made any progress so that doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon. She can't lift more than about 10 pounds, can't really bend down or reach up high to get things clean, and she has some strong hoarding tendencies when it comes to food and paper. Her weak organization skills just make all that worse. She has to see it for it to exist, so everything is out.

She's embarrassed by it. Doesn't like anyone to come in her place except me. My wife hasn't been in there in a long time. My kids have been, but only for very short periods of time. She doesn't like workers coming in there, service people, nobody. She has dust covering everything, walls, surfaces, an entire room she really doesn't use except for storage. It's just sad. She's very good and being ok with her situation. I remember growing up with our house like this somewhat too.

{edit} I guess my thought process has always been that she needs to choose her life. Whatever that means. But it's really hard to know that she could be so much happier, healthier and could have a better life if some drastic changes happen now, but I'm not sure that she could handle all that mentally.
Anyway, I digress. I am an only child. I have no other support. She's only 72. It's not a healthy environment. I really don't know how to decide where to draw the line, or how to carefully navigate this situation. It's sad, and it's weighing on my mind.

09-13-2020, 09:50 AM	#634
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	Gotta get a post in here today. I am sort of lost with how to handle something with my Mom. I was at her home yesterday to replace one tv and install another one. I know I've mentioned that I feel like she's so very close to heading down an unrecoverable path as far as her independent life is concerned. It's sort of a long story, but the short of it is that she is terrible at organization, and she's rapidly losing mobility. Her knees are shot, she's overweight, and the doctors won't replace her knees until she loses weight, which she's been really struggling to do. She lives alone, and goes up and down, between good and bad days, and hasn't really made any progress so that doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon. She can't lift more than about 10 pounds, can't really bend down or reach up high to get things clean, and she has some strong hoarding tendencies when it comes to food and paper. Her weak organization skills just make all that worse. She has to see it for it to exist, so everything is out. She's embarrassed by it. Doesn't like anyone to come in her place except me. My wife hasn't been in there in a long time. My kids have been, but only for very short periods of time. She doesn't like workers coming in there, service people, nobody. She has dust covering everything, walls, surfaces, an entire room she really doesn't use except for storage. It's just sad. She's very good and being ok with her situation. I remember growing up with our house like this somewhat too. {edit} I guess my thought process has always been that she needs to choose her life. Whatever that means. But it's really hard to know that she could be so much happier, healthier and could have a better life if some drastic changes happen now, but I'm not sure that she could handle all that mentally. Anyway, I digress. I am an only child. I have no other support. She's only 72. It's not a healthy environment. I really don't know how to decide where to draw the line, or how to carefully navigate this situation. It's sad, and it's weighing on my mind. __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam Last edited by PilotMan : 09-13-2020 at 10:09 AM.