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Suicane75 · 03-04-2013, 10:51 AM

Identity Thief: 3.9 Out Of 10 Stars
Too much, too much, too much. At 1:50 it's a good half hour longer than it needs to be. It's filled with just too much shit to be worth sitting through. On top of that it's not exactly all that funny either.

Jason Bateman plays a guy who has his identity stolen by Melissa McCarthy and upon discovering this, both he and police decide the best course of action would be for him to go get her in Florida and bring her back to Colorado. The premise is dumb, but that's ok, it gets dumber.

I'll not give away much more of that plot, as it were. Suffice to say the script just adds layers and layers and layers of crap on a dumb premise in the hope of jazzing it up with quantity instead of quality. We've got a bounty hunter, a drug lord and his henchmen and some various subplots between Bateman and McCarthy along the way.

The thing is, McCarthy is excellent when things slow down, teasing us with what could have been had the script been tighter. Instead we're treated to gunfights and chases masquerading as plot advancement.

There are about 25 really good minutes in the film, a scene with Modern Familys Eric Stonestreet among them, but in the end they just end up getting lost. Such a shame that two really good actors were wasted on this unambitious project.

Compliance: 2.5 Out Of 10 Stars
I fear I am not eloquent enough to explain how boring this movie is.

Starring Dreama Walker of Don't Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23, this is the true story of a prank call that goes way beyond, is your refrigerator running?

I've read up on the story and while it is true, and while the movie does stay pretty tight to the actual events, it doesn't mean that watching it wont be the longest 90 minutes of your fucking life.

The problem is that you can't really feel any sympathy for people this dumb. Even the victim, at some point you just have to shake your head and be done with giving a fuck what happens to her. This happens about a minute into the conversation. Luckily we're blessed with about 80 more minutes of movie.

I guess the actors did a good enough job of being close to retarded, I mean, I dunno what else they could have done.

As the film winds down and we get the natural sense that some conclusion has to come, I guess it gets a wee bit more interesting, but not really, it's just finding out the end of a boring story. At the very end there's a few quick scenes with the cops as they investigate some leads, it lasts about 2 minutes and is the most exciting part of the film.

Dreama Walker is topless a lot, if that interests you, but it's neither sexy or erotic.

I have never been this bored staring at pretty boobs for an hour.

03-04-2013, 10:51 AM	#5243
Suicane75 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: NJ	Identity Thief: 3.9 Out Of 10 Stars Too much, too much, too much. At 1:50 it's a good half hour longer than it needs to be. It's filled with just too much shit to be worth sitting through. On top of that it's not exactly all that funny either. Jason Bateman plays a guy who has his identity stolen by Melissa McCarthy and upon discovering this, both he and police decide the best course of action would be for him to go get her in Florida and bring her back to Colorado. The premise is dumb, but that's ok, it gets dumber. I'll not give away much more of that plot, as it were. Suffice to say the script just adds layers and layers and layers of crap on a dumb premise in the hope of jazzing it up with quantity instead of quality. We've got a bounty hunter, a drug lord and his henchmen and some various subplots between Bateman and McCarthy along the way. The thing is, McCarthy is excellent when things slow down, teasing us with what could have been had the script been tighter. Instead we're treated to gunfights and chases masquerading as plot advancement. There are about 25 really good minutes in the film, a scene with Modern Familys Eric Stonestreet among them, but in the end they just end up getting lost. Such a shame that two really good actors were wasted on this unambitious project. Compliance: 2.5 Out Of 10 Stars I fear I am not eloquent enough to explain how boring this movie is. Starring Dreama Walker of Don't Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23, this is the true story of a prank call that goes way beyond, is your refrigerator running? I've read up on the story and while it is true, and while the movie does stay pretty tight to the actual events, it doesn't mean that watching it wont be the longest 90 minutes of your fucking life. The problem is that you can't really feel any sympathy for people this dumb. Even the victim, at some point you just have to shake your head and be done with giving a fuck what happens to her. This happens about a minute into the conversation. Luckily we're blessed with about 80 more minutes of movie. I guess the actors did a good enough job of being close to retarded, I mean, I dunno what else they could have done. As the film winds down and we get the natural sense that some conclusion has to come, I guess it gets a wee bit more interesting, but not really, it's just finding out the end of a boring story. At the very end there's a few quick scenes with the cops as they investigate some leads, it lasts about 2 minutes and is the most exciting part of the film. Dreama Walker is topless a lot, if that interests you, but it's neither sexy or erotic. I have never been this bored staring at pretty boobs for an hour.