Fixed the Estonia problem after hours of work, but that's not where I'm going to start. No, it's...
I don't know what the hell is going in that logo. It looks some weird bird-crab mutant holding an older cellphone.
Anyway, Morobe United plays in a 10,000 seat stadium (owned by the Council naturally) in the 100,000ish population city of Lae, the second largest city in Papa New Guinea, behind the more well-known city of Port Moresby (population 236k - nearly double its size.
The beauty of Papa New Guinea's single league? Like Fiji, all the teams are amateur. There's a grand total of 12 teams, split into two divisions of 6 teams.
That means a 10 game season. The top two teams qualify for the two games Champion Playoffs, and I *think* the top team in each division qualifies to go get their asses kicked in the Oceania Champions League Group stage, but maybe it's the tournament champion. Possibly both? Not sure.
Anyhow, the quality of soccer here is just as terrible as you expect, and there's no pool to draw from. Worse yet,
we can't get anyone to sign with us and default to a few grey guys who I can stomach to start the process.
But the national team is doing pretty damn well, because they have 19 year old ST
David Browne,
who plays in the top Dutch league, and 25 year old DL
Brad McDonald, playing in Australia's A league.
Amicale, an Amateur side from Vanuatua, just won the Oceania Champions League. Should that shock you? ...Well... not so much as it turns out. The Oceania Champions League has two semi-professional teams, both from New Zealand.
And the prize money is $80k for winning Champions League, $30k for runner-up. Folks, we're at the bottom of the soccer world here. Why no Australia? Because they play in the Asian Champions League.
Transfer In - MLR Gabriel Aimaea (25) (Solomon Islander) - From Unitech Lea
Finally we manage to snipe somebody who was unhappy about his PT. He's physically incredible - only one stat below 9, and he also has 13 Flair, 13 Teamwork, and 11 Work Rate.
Transfer In - MC Philip Mondo (26) - From Unitech Lea
10 Passing, Decisions, Determination.
Every single physical attribute is 8 or higher. 11 Teamwork, 12 Flair. There's some shockingly good talent on this island.
We're having such hard luck attracting people that I propose a Trial Day and the board agrees! (Probably because they felt bad about rejecting my parent club request).
...And it gets canceled due to lack of player interest. Wow.
@ Madong Fox
DL: Ludwig Upaiga
M: Gabriel Aimaea/Gray/Philip Mondo/Philip Seeto
Our grey guy signees are whiny little bitches about being trained in a new position, so I'll cut their asses at first opportunity.
33 - Big sigh
0-1
78 - Grey guy gets double yellow. I couldn't care less.
vs Guria Goroka (2nd)
DL: Ludwig Upaiga
M: Gabriel Aimaea/Gray/Philip Mondo/Philip Seeto
23 -
Aimaea recovers a clearance in the box and taps it to grey guy for our first official score of my era
1-0
30 - Grey guy makes interception, passes up to
Seeto for a great box delivery to Grey Guy for his second goal
2-0
32 - We score again as Other Grey Guy hits his own rebound shot
3-0
34 - My teams continue to be shit at set piece defending
3-1
48 -
Aimaea centers to
Mondo for the box feed to
Seeto. Cross, and Grey Guy gets his hat trick
4-1
80 - LOL. Hat trick guy goes off with injury.
90 - SMH
4-2
We almost surrendered a third goal at the end, too. Anyway,
Philip Seeto's whiny ass has a 9.0 but it's not PotM worthy because of hat trick guy and
Philip Mondo overcame a shitty first half to finish with a 7.5.
That moves us to 2nd, behind the undefeated league leaders. But
Ludwig Upaiga gets a double hernia and is out 3 months.
@ Unitech Lea (1st)
M: Gabriel Aimaea/Gray/Philip Mondo/Philip Seeto
26 -
Aimaea taps the free kick right to a grey midfielder and his long pop kick into the box finds a grey striker for the score. Would be a massive upset to win here, because this team is hogging all the talent
1-0
55 - Gross.
1-1
vs Besta PNG (6th)
M: Gabriel Aimaea/Gray/Philip Mondo/Philip Seeto
26 - We keep going to
Seeto on the right wing, and he keeps losing the ball, but then the grey DR right charges in and booms the recovered clearance into the box, where
Aimaea powers in his first Morobe United goal!
1-0
42 - JESUS CHRIST, WILL YOU ASSHOLES LEARN TO DEFEND A FRIGGING SET PIECE?!
1-1
Transfer In - DM/MC/AMC Ronnie Nengabo (28) - From Unitech Lae
10 First Touch, Tackling, Concentration, Pace, Stamina. 13 Teamwork, 11 Work Rate. 7.15 average rating for the division leaders, so this was a huge steal.
Transfer In - DC Selan Elizah (44) - From Rapatona PM
It's the kind of league where an elderly soccer player can still be relevant. Not listing his stuff because he won't be playing too much longer.
Transfer Out - MR Philip Seeto - To Poro
Don't care. We're loaded at MR bodies.
Transfer Out - MR Manuel Wangu - To Blue Kumals Lae
K. That's both former grey dude MR who left. Whatever.
@ Admiralty (2nd)
DC: Selan Elizah
DM: Ronnie Nengabo
M: Gray/Philip Mondo/Gabriel Aimaea
8 - K this is really getting boring
0-1
33 -
Nengabo sends it down the right flank after a throw-in to new grey striker. Cross into the box, and
Aimaea makes the difficult shot
1-1
46 - We finally get a set piece goal before half, and it's yay grey dudes doing stuff
2-1
72 -
Aimaea outlets to the grey DR and runs down the right flank for the return longball down the line. Center, and grey striker slide tackles in the insurance!!!
3-1
74 - Grey striker has like five guys around him, so he passes right into the box through a seam to
Aimaea. Cross to grey ML and the misery piles on
4-1
PotM 9.1 for
Gabriel Aimaea. Halfway through the season we're in 2nd place, which is about as good as we can hope for, given the two top teams in the respective divisions are hogging all the damn talent.