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Originally Posted by Qwikshot
This is awesome, this is what I need today...
Okay, I'm a daddy. I have a beautiful daughter, she's 4 years, less than four months from turning 5.
Her name is Zia.
But it's all confusing.
Why so? Well, because I'm not the birth father. I'm really just now, an ex-boyfriend, who at the time was the only father figure.
But we never told my daughter, and I'm not sure when the truth will be illuminated.
Never adopted by me, I retain no legal rights, but I can arrange doctor appontments (whenever my ex decides to get insurance) and I get her every other weekend.
Now for the longest time I was raising her, so now I'm in withdrawl because it's long before I get to spend time, and it's limited in that it's just about 3 nights, and 2 days (I pick her up Friday evenings).
So today, my ex calls (She is married now) and tells me wonderful news, she's got a new job, decent pay and insurance.
So I'm happy that my smart wonderful daughter will now visit the doctor and the dentist, but frustrated because my ex seems to have everything go her way...and when it doesn't; it doesn't really affect her as much as it does my daughter.
I try to provide stability, but I feel like I'm losing ground. I try to be a better man and be happy for my ex, but I feel envious. I was the good guy, and I'm struggling, not to accept...but amazed at how well everything turns out while I have to settle for less, for me and my daughter.
I'm going to Australia in two weeks, I'm contemplating not returning, in fact, if it weren't for my daughter, I wouldn't, I'd rather start anew.
She's the only reason I'd come back; She's the only reason I stick around.
I get a call everyday, "When are you coming to pick me up?" or "I really miss you", generally both. I know sometimes it's embellishment because Zia is the center of my attention when she's over, she really is my world.
It's been two years since her mom and I split. I was there for ultrasounds, I was there for the birth, the first time she rolled over, the first words, crawling, standing, walking, love yous...sometimes I feel that I won't be seeing more, I got her first bike, her first bed, I make her brush her teeth, she learned my street address first, she knows my phone number (and can dial it), she knows what 911 is and what to do in most emergencies. She's brash and tough, she amazes my friends with her manners. She's has my personality, she learned to pout from me, and I read her stories and she's learned how to say "secured" and "explanation" and what they means; she sings to the Talking Heads, Janis Joplin, Sonny and Cher (don't ask), Booker T and the MGs, Sam and Dave...
She's my best memory of everything.
Everyday is hard, but like Homer, I do it for her.
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