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Qwikshot · 10-14-2005, 07:03 AM

When Zia does wrong, she doesn't outright lie when she's with me, she will try to justify it. But when say I am watching a show while Zia is playing with my brother, and she comes back into the room, if is something we can both watch, I will allow it, but if it isn't, I will switch it off, and Zia understands that it isn't "appropriate". She understands that word, because I have used it for Family Guy, South Park, and other shows.

Of course, my ex lets her watch "Buffy".

Still I was watching bits of "Cold Case" and Zia wanted to watch, and it was rather dark, (a woman is trapped in a burning house with grills on the windows). Zia wanted to see it, so I decided to use it to my advantage in explaining the dangers of fire, and what you need to do in case of a fire. We had had a real life experience with fire when she was younger (she remembers amazingly) when my ex had a grease fire occur, and we had to use an extinguisher to put it out.

What I do try to instill is fairness. Zia will lie over the phone, but it is hard to guage if she understands so. Sometimes I think she just wants attention which I may lavish on her, being a single guy, when I have Zia, it's just me and her (sometimes my parents and brother)...when Zia is with Craig and Zoe, Zia is not the center of attention...so I get messages (she calls everyday) that she hasn't eaten, or that her friends hit her, or that they refuse to give her milk, or that she hasn't done anything all day.

So either Zia knows how to manipulate, or there are half-truths floating around. I think mainly it's because of attention...I have noticed that she does get jealous if she's not the center of attention, and she has a one track mind when it comes to getting attention, if she sees me I trump my parents, my brother, etc...she used to barely acknowledge them...more and more though I have told her, shown her, that you can share and allow everyone acknowledgement and attention...

I don't know where I'm going with this, I ramble.

I think children don't lie so much as they make their own perception, they may understand that it is wrong, but feel that there is justification (I get the cookie, I get the attention). I don't punish when I catch Zia in a lie as much as I make her accept the truth.

10-14-2005, 07:03 AM	#47
Qwikshot Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: ...down the gravity well	When Zia does wrong, she doesn't outright lie when she's with me, she will try to justify it. But when say I am watching a show while Zia is playing with my brother, and she comes back into the room, if is something we can both watch, I will allow it, but if it isn't, I will switch it off, and Zia understands that it isn't "appropriate". She understands that word, because I have used it for Family Guy, South Park, and other shows. Of course, my ex lets her watch "Buffy". Still I was watching bits of "Cold Case" and Zia wanted to watch, and it was rather dark, (a woman is trapped in a burning house with grills on the windows). Zia wanted to see it, so I decided to use it to my advantage in explaining the dangers of fire, and what you need to do in case of a fire. We had had a real life experience with fire when she was younger (she remembers amazingly) when my ex had a grease fire occur, and we had to use an extinguisher to put it out. What I do try to instill is fairness. Zia will lie over the phone, but it is hard to guage if she understands so. Sometimes I think she just wants attention which I may lavish on her, being a single guy, when I have Zia, it's just me and her (sometimes my parents and brother)...when Zia is with Craig and Zoe, Zia is not the center of attention...so I get messages (she calls everyday) that she hasn't eaten, or that her friends hit her, or that they refuse to give her milk, or that she hasn't done anything all day. So either Zia knows how to manipulate, or there are half-truths floating around. I think mainly it's because of attention...I have noticed that she does get jealous if she's not the center of attention, and she has a one track mind when it comes to getting attention, if she sees me I trump my parents, my brother, etc...she used to barely acknowledge them...more and more though I have told her, shown her, that you can share and allow everyone acknowledgement and attention... I don't know where I'm going with this, I ramble. I think children don't lie so much as they make their own perception, they may understand that it is wrong, but feel that there is justification (I get the cookie, I get the attention). I don't punish when I catch Zia in a lie as much as I make her accept the truth.