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Umm... I don't know which parts of the Texas special teams coach stories are true, but they build one heck of a headline if you put them all together.
Something along the lines of... Texas special teams coach leaves wife and kids for stripper named Pole Assassin who has pet monkey that allegedly attacked a child last night during Halloween.
Quite the Mad Lib going on there.
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M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
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