[Izulde]

We lost $7.75k last month. A bid for Justin Cooper comes in that we consider, but when we ask for double his value, the offer's withdrawn. I mean, I'm not totally adverse to moving him, but it has to be more than 25% of the future sale price for me to consider it.

A similar 25% of future sale offer comes for Paul Nisbet. That one gets laughed out of the park.

We spend a lot of time in the transfer market, trying to find a replacement for Alex Roden, who keeps regressing every month, but thus far no luck.

1st @ Morris Motors (3rd)
G: Alex Roden
D: Kalijah Gibbons/Dominic Hughes/Ian Penney/Matt Wilkinson
DM: Paul Nisbet
M: Justin Cooper/Shaun Atkinson
AM: Reggie Pouncey
S: Andrew Grundy/Jason Porter

27 - Ugh. 0-1

38 - Gibbons kicks the ball down the flank to Grundy, but it's intercepted. A foolish backpass to the goalie gets intercepted by Porter, who comes out of nowhere to steal it and put the equalizer away. 1-1

Barron replaces the injured, ineffectual Cooper at half.

54 - A 20 yard pass downfield by Gibbons to the box for Grundy, who muscles off two defenders and slots in the tightly angled shot! 2-1

65 - Barron moves up to AMC and Attwood comes on at BWM, replacing Pouncey, who hasn't been great and also just got a yellow card.

72 - Double yellow for one of their guys!! Yes!!!

80 - Betts in for tired, nervous Wilkinson

88 - THAT WAS A BULLSHIT FUCKING PENALTY!!! SUCK A DICK YOU FUCKING CHODEFUCKSTICK WHOREFUCK REF!!! 2-2

91 - FUCK FUCK FUSDBNGSLBNOASHFGOIAHRTO9HAWEO9TH234T54PQ2349P2345 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS BULSLHIT FSHGOHASIOGHASF89PGAD 2-3

I throw shit and scream at the team. I'm still throwing shit and screaming in inchoate rage at the fucking bullshit game that we fucking HAD LOCKED DOWN.

1st vs Chippenham Park (11th)
G: Alex Roden
D: Kalijah Gibbons/Dominic Hughes/Ian Penney/Matt Wilkinson
DM: Paul Nisbet
M: Justin Barron/Shaun Atkinson
AM: Reggie Pouncey
S: Andrew Grundy/Jason Porter

I'm more pissed at losing that last fucking game than I am at my inability to find my keys after searching my apartment for over four fucking hours earlier today.

34 - Nisbet's indirect free kick to Gibbons sees the shot blocked, but Atkinson puts away the rebound. Still not fucking happy because Morris Motors has a game in hand and is 1 point back, meaning 1st place is a god damned fucking lie again. 1-0

57 - No problem, we'll just fucking bend over, get fucked up the ass, and fducking give Morris Motors the god damned fucking title. Betts on for Wilkinson's sorry runt ass and Wilson in for Grundy. Fuck all you bitches. 1-1

62 - THAT WAS SARCASM, YOU FUCKNOZZLES! STOP FUCKING BEING CUNTYWAISTS ON FUCKING CORNER KICKS! 1-2

78 - Double yellow for one of their dudes. Watch it not matter.

89 - Pouncey scores on an interception by Barron and pass from Wilson. I give no fucks. 2-2

93 - HOLY SHIT!!!! BETTS KICKS A CROSS THAT FLIES SO HIGH, THE KEEPER COMES OUT AND DEFLECTS IT... AND THE FUCKING BALL BOUNCES INTO THE NET ON A FLUKE ASS FUCKING GOAL!!! 3-2

Even better - Alder FC came back from behind to beat Morris Motors, so we're again cleanly in 1st place even with the game in hand!!!!

I tell Dominic Hughes he needs to get his shit together. He cost us the game against Morris Motors, and damn fucking near cost us that game against Chippenham Park.

Transfer In - GK Craig Lambert (18) - $0
We just paid this kid a shit ton of money - $15.75k a year in base salary, plus a ton of inducements, because he is a god of goalkeeping at this level - literally the single best keeper we've ever had put on a Thorney jersey. We stole him from a semi-pro club that's crashed all the way to Level 12 and is at the bottom third of the league due to a ton of injuries.

1st @ Old Vardeanians (9th)
G: Craig Lambert
D: Kalijah Gibbons/Dominic Hughes/Jamie Hopkins/Dennis Betts
DM: Paul Nisbet
M: Justin Barron/Shaun Atkinson
AM: Reggie Pouncey
S: Andrew Grundy/Jason Porter

We've suffered from poor play overall in the DC spots the last couple games, so I'm going to swap one starter out, and it's Penney, who simply has been mediocre even when he hasn't stunk.

12 - YOU HAVE GOT TO FUCKING BE KIDDING ME! LAMBERT IS HURT?! He'll play on, but fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

13 - Fuck you!!! Porter was onsides!!!!

28 - We've been knocking on the door literally all game here, but if a fluke corner kick goal by Nisbet is what it takes to break the tie, well game on, motherfucker. 1-0

43 - Atkinson sneaks it forward to Porter, who laterals to Pouncey on the half-circle. The long shot cracks in, with what looked like help from the crossbar. In the middle of this play, I see Morris Motors and Cargo Fleet are playing each other, and it's a 1-1 draw. Yes, a tie would be great. A tie would be fucking FABULOUS. 2-0

Porter gets knocked literally 30 seconds before the half ends, and it's bad enough that Wilson replaces him.

50 - That is literally the first highlight I've seen for the opponents all game. The shot cracks wide.

58 - That fuckup of a short pass in the central defense should have cost us a damned goal. As soon as I figure out who it is, I'm yanking his ass.

70 - We've been insanely fucking lucky this game. The woodwork denies what should have been a goal for them.

80 - Wright goes in for Hopkins, who I think was the guilty player earlier in the half anyway.

7.5 for Paul Nisbet and 7.7 for PotM Reggie Pouncey. Not the most auspicious debut for Craig Lambert, but it's fine. Cargo Fleet beat Morris Motors, by the way, so the pressure is still on there.

But with 4 games left, even if we completely implode, the worst we'll finish is 4th.

Jason Porter is out 3 weeks, which means he'll be a miss for our next game. That's kind of a heavy blow, but at least we have Gaz Wilson to step in for him.

Cargo Fleet and Morris Motors both win on a day we don't play, making up the game in hand for MM and giving us one on Cargo Fleet. We're still in 1st, so we know we hold the tiebreaker (for now).

U21 vs Youth Candidates
Finally a year the U21 team wins, 2-1, although Craig Lambert fucked up when he fisted a ball right to the opponent and they scored on him. Sam Mitchell was great.

It costs money to give players youth contracts, so I'm going to say you need to have a shot at the lineup for me to offer you a deal. Anyone this year fit that category? Oh, we lost Dwight Wright for 3 weeks in the game.

So yeah, I'm not impressed with any of the youth candidates, so for the first time ever, I don't sign any.

I release two U21 scrubs and Kevin Mbeleck on free transfers, because they weren't costing anything and all they did was whine. I did rather like Mbeleck though - he's just not cut out for this level.

1st vs Alder FC (6th)
G: Craig Lambert
D: Kalijah Gibbons/Dominic Hughes/Jamie Hopkins/Dennis Betts
DM: Paul Nisbet
M: Justin Barron/Shaun Atkinson
AM: Reggie Pouncey
S: Andrew Grundy/Gaz Wilson

They have the league's leading goal-scorer in Brewster Dale, so naturally we're going to be on him like white on rice - a cliche` I love despite its status.

4 - Lots of back and forth here, with Nisbet making a beautiful sliding dispossession of a ball intended for Dale. That starts a sequence capping off in Grundy getting the ball outside the box and holding up play. The feed is nicked away by the defender, but he's feeling too cocky, and Wilson makes him pay by swiping the ball right back and cracking it in the net. 1-0

32 - Grundy back passes to Pouncey. The slide out to Gibbons and cross right into the box where Grundy beats the defense, and sends a hummer in. 2-0

Hughes is rightfully pissed when I pull him at the half for Williams. Nisbet takes his pull for Cooper in stride. But those dudes are both sitting with yellow cards, and with our beating up Dale, I can't risk the double yellow.

54 - Two straight recoveries of clearances by Cooper, the second of which results in a pass to Betts in the box, who then finds Wilson for the short, thunder score. 3-0

67 - One of their guys gets a red card. Whoop.

77 - This is how dangerous Dale is. He beats the defense and would've scored but for the post, then scores anyway on the corner kick with three defenders in front of him. 3-1

8.0 for Kalijah Gibbons, 8.8 for PotM Gaz Wilson, and 8.3 for Andrew Grundy. This was a beautiful, important victory. WTF?! We drop to 2nd?!

HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK?! WE BEAT THEM THE FIRST GAME, AND WE HAVE THEM +24 TO +17 ON GD!!!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! GOALS SCORED... GOALS SCORED?! THEY HAVE ONE MORE FUCKING GOAL THAN WE DO!

HEY CARGO FLEET, EAT MY GOD DAMNED HAIRY WHITE RAGING ASS!!!!

Making matters worse? Paul Nisbet will miss our next two games due to 10 yellow cards in a season. I mean, we've got some guys who can cover for him, but damn that's a shot to the solar plexus to lose our team captain. Especially since one of those games is against Cargo Fleet.

Still, with 2/3 games left, we've got Morris Motors sitting 6 back and us and Cargo Fleet locking horns. Everyone else is long since out of the picture. Basically, Morris Motors needs to win out and hope either we or Cargo Fleet implode.

The transfer deadline passes without our making any further moves.

3 games left. Have to win, at bare minimum, 2 out of those 3, with Cargo Fleet being one of the two.