RL Dynasty: DC's writes his first novel

[Young Drachma]

So, here's the story.

I mentioned in a thread earlier last week that I was considering leaving my internship early because it not only failed to fulfill my expectations, but that I felt like I could be more productive doing other projects I have going. I wrestled with the decision a lot, but it seems as though for better or worse, that I'll be leaving here in a week or so.

This dynasty will go through my pursuit of completing my first novel, getting it published and everything after that. I am most likely self-publishing it, because I am not interested in going through a vanity press and believe that I could market it okay myself.

So with that in mind, I'll give you some background on me and dive right in.

[Young Drachma]

AREN'T YOU LIKE 19?

Not exactly. Not to say that I'm old, but I've done a few things in my 25 years. I grew up in Central New Jersey and moved when I was 19 after high school and a year of working full-time. I moved to Northern Wisconsin, much to the horror of most people I knew who probably didn't even where Wisconsin was relative to New Jersey, but anyway....I went there to teach tennis at a summer camp. I ended up teaching journalism instead, but oh well...it was a decent summer.

I left there in August of '98 and joined the Air Force. I'd done JROTC in high school and figured that it would be a good springboard to what I wanted to do, mainly because I didn't have a ton of options save going back to New Jersey and being miserable [my parents weren't so keen on the full-time college thing at the time..] or going broke trying to do college without them.

The Air Force was not a bad time and I got to do a lot. I was stationed in Southern Illinois. I always had the idea that I'd do 4 years, get out and go to college. I never intended to go to school while I was in the AF, until a good friend I met through the Air Force - who was younger than me - started doing it. We used to take trips to St. Louis (only about 20 min. away) and the first time I saw Washington University, I'd remembered it and knew that I needed to go to school there. Despite the fact that it was far more expensive than my Air Force salary monthly, I enrolled in the Fall of 2001 and ended up taking just two classes.

But I did manage to start writing there for an independent student newspaper. I've always written. From letters to the editor when I was in high school to the regional newspaper (usually blasting some city official in my town. pretty bold - and stupid - for a teenager, in retrospect) to debate and writing poetry - I was always involved in some form of communication.

But I never considered myself a writer.

I left the Air Force in May of 2002. I also left Wash U then. Too expensive and frankly, I didn't think I'd have the grades from HS to get in for real. So, I took the experience and moved on. The reason I even mention being there was, prior to that time, I'd never been in a school setting where I felt like it was okay to be smart. People there assumed that if you were there, you must be smart. That's a powerful feeling and can really motivate you to move the clouds if that's your goal....

I was admitted to a small college in Western Illinois called Monmouth College. It was an interesting time. I went there, fully realizing that this small piece of Americana would be far too small for me, but I did it anyway thinking that it'd be an easy way to get my degree and to be super involved prior to grad school.

Boy, I was about half right.

My experience at Monmouth was largely a battle of good vs. evil. I spent most of time trying to convince the student body that they needed to join the 80s and do things that other schools had done years before - and that challenging the school administration was okay.

Needless to say, I made plenty of friends among the faculty and administration. If by friends, you mean they were working behind my back the entire time to foil whatever I was doing, all with a smile.

That's not to say there weren't professors who helped. But generally speaking, most people - rightfully so - were too concerned with their jobs to really do anything that would be considered bold. So, they generally gave lots of lip-service and begged for patience.

One of my major goals when I arrived there, was to bring a college debate program to the school. I'd done debate in high school and again at Wash U and it was my new "thing," so I figured nothing would be better than having the chance to get new people excited it. Plus, my girlfriend went to school about 15 miles away.

Oh did I mention that part?

Fast-forward to the future. In four months, I took the debate team that no one thought would be viable and made it the largest and most active student group on campus. "I don't think anyone would be interested in it, but you can try to do it if you want," said one professor who ended up being up as our advisor, the summer before we got started.

I expanded the group into Model UN, Scholastic Bowl and absorbed a state government club into the group too. We were a mega-group, but not without problems since it was never envisioned to be that large. There were disputes over non-existant money the college refused to give us and we were resented by the student government, largely because I was the leader and most of them didn't know what to make of this opinionated black guy who came to their school and acted [in their minds] like he was better than everybody else.

(And yes, people said exactly that...) Must be east coast elitism...

In the summer of 2003, I had the opportunity to intern at the Boston Globe as a copy editor. Nothing else to that story, except the best part of that experience was meeting really bright people who again made me feel like I wasn't some weird for having ambition. That first year at Monmouth really weighed on my soul in a lot of ways and it made wonder whether I was kidding myself. Boston reaffirmed my committment and drive.

I went back to Monmouth in the Fall of 2003, energized to make a difference. I started a student newspaper that lasted a whole year and outpaced the school newspaper. But eventually I became disillusioned. I stopped being involved in school activities, retreated from the club I'd founded (that was Organization of the Year twice) and basically was plotting something new.

I was originally come to Oregon for this internship in the summer, but pushed it back to the fall when I thought it'd be more feasible. Monmouth gave me the run-around about receiving credit for it. Ultimately, I decided that it would be better to leave, even though I only had a year left there. I'd found a few places I could go and graduate on time (well, I was supposed to graduate in '06..I just rushed to do it by '05..not getting younger) and get ready for grad school.

The plan was to come to Oregon and see what it was like working for a professional educational bureacuracy. I'm interested and have been for years, in education policy. It's "my thing," and its what I see myself doing. The gig was talked up and I was thinking it would work.

I'd come, do my thing and get a recommendation that would help me on my way to..whatever I wanted to do next.

My flawed logic was that 1) a reference letter could really propel me on what my record couldn't and 2) that things would go as well as it sounded.

I'm soured by the over-political nature of the gig. I've done political stuff in the past, so its not that I'm a neophyte. It's just that though. I'm tired of that and I'd much rather focus on the nuts and bolts, rather than rankling and the like.

It's far more complicated than is worth explaining here, but at the end of the day, my decision came down to a number of factors.

One of them being that I just got back with my girlfriend and we haven't seen each other in months. I've never been one to care much about distance. Hell, I was married for a brief time in the Air Force and we never saw each other much. Of course, that contributed to our demise (she cheated..) but part of what has allowed me to do what I've done, is really the fact that I've tried to minimize my desire to oversentimentalize things.

The other parts, that weigh more heavily are that I'm not really being paid enough to make it worthwhile. I almost would do better to work part-time for the next 2 1/2 months and just write my book, rather than bust my ass for double the time, having to participate in lots of other things that are a consequence of living with your boss - oh did I mention that part? - and then having to be in a new place, with minimal contacts and neither the money or the desire to really go through meeting people.

=============

So, I would leave here. Go with the girlfriend and be with her for the next eight weeks or so. It'd be fine, except I'd be trading in the relative comfort weather of Oregon - save all the rain - for Wyoming. Ugh.

No one ever said it was perfect.

I can go back and forth for days about this, but I really view this as an opportunity of a lifetime. I have never been more committed or excited about writing as I have right now. I realize that its hard work and will be pretty difficult to motivate myself sometimes. But frankly, that's no different than virtually everything going on in my life right now being here - and at least there, I'd have some sort of support system and would feel comfortable.

I think I just answered my own fears.

It's storytime boys and girls....

[Young Drachma]

I've wanted to write a book for probably something like 16 months or so. It went from non-fiction and eventually, sometime in February, I realized that I could write a novel. I think I got tired of reading books that reminded nothing of the world I've seen.

Not to say that there is no book on earth that speaks to me, just to say that I believed there was a dearth of them out there. Having random friends encouraging me to write, was usually just an excuse for me not to. I always figured that - even with my brutally honest set of friends - that they were just being nice.

But in time, I believe that it was worth it to sit down and start writing.

I spent the next four months doing absolutely....nothing. I'd start, stop and start again. I was like driving a manual for the time, not quite able to get the car over a hill without the fear of falling backwards.

It sucked.

This summer, I worked at summer camp and I finally got a few ideas that I thought might work. So I scrapped the old ones and started writing. Like usual, I got stalled. But this time, it was more life stalling me. That and for some reason, I found writing dialouge really difficult. So, I consulted a few books, read some on the web and before I knew it, I was writing again.

But then again, I stopped.

I moved back to Illinois for a week to move my stuff out of my apartment since I was coming here to Oregon. I started writing more, but thought nothing of it.

After a few days of being in Oregon, I started writing tons. I hadn't quite solidified a story yet, but I this time was different than any of the other times I'd been writing. It just seemed easier and exciting. It was no longer about writing a book for the sake of it. It was about the story, about telling people about these people [though fictional] that they needed to know about, because I felt as though they would be able to relate - or maybe not - and they'd just want to laugh.

At any rate, it took me a week into being to decide what I was doing. I mapped out the characters and spent every waking hour that I wasn't at work - and some that I was - thinking about characters and writing down ideas when I got them.

But at no time did I force it. So, if I went an entire day and had nothing to say, then I said nothing. If I had a lot to talk about, then I wrote about it. While I was pretty liberal in the use of past experiences, it was more taking creative license and going places that I'd never go myself and taking our protaganist down alleys I've never walked. It certainly made learning about him - and all the other characters more fun when I didn't know them either.

[Young Drachma]

For most of his life, Tristan Schofield was a cynical guy who thought he had it all. Good looks, brains and lots of women. But it took the approach of his 25th birthday party has him revisiting his small northeastern town, where “he knew everybody and everybody knows you,” and thinking about the life he’d lived and what was next.

twenty-five puts a funny spin on the so-called “quarter-life crisis,” in the form of Tristan’s mind. Sardonic, but astute, he takes us on a journey from his adventures with best friends Diego and Emmitt, who are constantly mocking him about his “love affair” with Bella and Maggie Carmiendo, two sisters who he ends up sleeping with at the same time.

Convinced he needs a change, he attends Victoria University on the opposite side of the country and goes from the big fish in a small pond, to that of an ocean with much larger ones. At Vic U, he introduces us to his SUV-driving professors who he never sees much, because they’re holding freedom rallies for Tibet and his new hobby of trolling the library on Fridays to find girls that want to “study” in his dorm room.

After graduation, he heads off to the working world where he is a “mid-level manager,” and continues his penchant for deconstructing his surroundings in a funny way. It’s there that he meets the elusive girl that he can’t have, but is willing to risk everything for.

It takes a promise made by old friends to hold a joint 25th birthday party and a return home that makes him continue his reflection.

twenty-five is a story that will have you remembering your 20s like they were yesterday.

[IMetTrentGreen]

the name should be garden state 2

just kidding, good luck

[Young Drachma]

hehehe...go jersey

[sabotai]

Jersey represent!

Good luck on your writing. I once tried my hand at it. Wrote several short stories (sci-fi and fantasy), submitted them to several places...all got rejected. But that was a few years ago. I look at them now...god they sucked. Still rolling a few idea around my head for novels.

[Young Drachma]

Thanks for the shout out and yes, Jersey rocks. (Small tangent..I was reading one of the 50 state facts things and noticed that Jersey had the coolest stuff and none of the other states could compete.)

Anyway, yeah. As for writing, I've just had the idea I could do this off and on for years. This is the first time - I've been doing it for almost a year now - where I felt like something super serious could come out of it.

Speaking of, I'll need to update the dynasty soon

[Young Drachma]

The hardest days to write are the ones where so much real life stuff happens that you feel like if you actually bothered to write, you'd end up having it seep onto the pages - but not in a good way.

So I haven't written today, for the first time in a long time. There are still a few hours left on the West Coast here, so I might manage to get something out - in fact, I'd like to - but its just been a really trying day and I promised myself I wouldn't force it.

Basically, today was the day that I told my boss that I was frustrated here and was thinking of moving on. We talked and while I'm still trying to get a handle of where I am, I think I'm considering staying here, because I made the committment and just using the time I do have to be more committed to writing. After all, that's what being in the real world is all about, right?

I had a long talk with my mother today about the fact that I've been gone a while, that I'm seemingly not getting my money right and that it might be better if I came home and got things organized.

Frankly, while I appreciate always having someplace to go, that's just not an option for me. That and I doubt I'd be able to write there. That's no small thing, but there is also the effect of just feeling as though you're giving up.

I'm too close to my degree and to finishing this book to quit now. Even if I only sell a few copies of the novel to friends and curious others, I'll still never be able to look back and say I didn't try it, that I didn't go for it or that I always "wanted to do that." I can't compromise on this one, because I get so many crazy ideas - but this is the one where I've talked it up a million times, but the truth is, I just want to write and tell stories.

All the other stuff, is just mayo on the sandwich. Important, but not the meat.

We'll see....

[Young Drachma]

Oh, I forgot to mention that part of my discussion with the boss was that I'd stay for at least 2 more weeks and then we'd reevaluate where things were. He said that if I felt as though I was going to leave prior to that, then I ought to let him know so he can plan accordingly.

Considering the fact that he's basically helped me through the whole process of getting here, accomodating me and stuff with housing and such alike, I really can't be upset or anything. He's been really reasonable and what I keep having to remind myself is that most people just aren't like that.

It's a blessing, to be sure. I just need to understand that not only do I have to hold up my end of the bargain, but that I need to recognize that things could be a whole lot worse and I'd still be stuck here at the end of the day.

Sorry, I'm kinda going off on a tangent today.

If you're interested in seeing my "writing sandbox," which is basically a site that has a few of the characters that will be in the book and a few random scenarios, check out http://www.xanga.com/rbphd2009. The story starts three pages from the main page, but its not in chronological order, nor does it always make sense. It's just a sandbox...

But in case you wanted to get an idea, its there.

[korme]

i'll be following along, this is cool DC

[Young Drachma]

So I made my decision.

I'm leaving here probably next week. I'll be in Wyoming. I'm not thrilled about the weather or the fact that the state has no shopping malls nearby (I'm from Jersey..sue me), but I do get my girl and I get to write...minimal distractions are a good thing when you're trying to write. (And since me coming there to write the book was basically her idea..)

So, yeah. I have to break it to the boss that I'm actually going to go through with the leave. I'm not happy about feeling like I'm "hurting" someone's feelings, but that's 'cuz I'm a sap that way. The reality of the situation goes something like this.

I came here solely because I wanted to apply for this one Fellowship with a state government. I thought this would put me over the top - or help me get into grad school because of the recommendation or whatever.

But then I got here and realized that frankly, none of that is really all that important to me. That and I realized how unimportant recommendations are. Sure, they help some. But if you have the qualifications - especially unless you're rich or have a real connection on the inside - then you're gonna get judged yea or nay.

But even if I stayed and got the good recommendation, I didn't think it was worth it to spend another two months here making scratch and being fairly lonely to boot. That and I'm just not comfortable living with other people like this. I've lived with people, so its not that. But its a weird situation being a "grown ass man" and living in somebody's house. Not like they've been mean or anything. They've been absolutely great and it was the best case scenario when I got here.

But there are a dizzing array of factors that basically say that my well-being and sanity are far worth any of the supposed benefits I thought I'd get coming here. I'm still glad I came. If I hadn't, I don't think I'd have figured out a lot of what I've managed to. That's just the truth. This whole process was instrumental in setting me straight in a lot of ways.

After I spend my two months in purgatory Wyoming, I'm going back to Monmouth for school. It's not my best option, nor is it paradise. But I figure that at least its there, I'd already staked out a place for myself - figuratively and literaly - and I just think that it makes more sense for to go there, graduate from undergrad (but it'd be in Fall '05) and go from there.

I looked at a few of the grad programs I was interested in and found that most of them offered spring admissions, so I could apply for then. That was one of the things I thinking I wouldn't be able to do - and now I find that I can.

So that's good. I also wrote a new entry today in my sandbox. It takes place when Tristan first gets to Vic U and meets who will be an instrumental part of his being there. It's something of a funny twist, if you want to check it out.

Or maybe I could start posting those random sandbox entries here. I could increase my post count (I've been here for ages and my post count is super low...it's quality, not quantity folks and you all would know what the hell was going on, sorta.

The sandbox does ignore some elements that are going to be in the finished novel and its not in chronological order. But smart people will be able to do the math.

So okay...that's it.

[Young Drachma]

With the board going down and moving and stuff I obviously hadn't updated this in a while. But I'm settled and so I'll get back to it...

[Young Drachma]

I arrived in Wyoming (shivers) on October 5th. I hadn't written a word in over a week, because of everything that was going on. I figured it would take me a few days to get it together.

But just when I was wanting to write and do something realtively productive with my time...my computer decided to stop working. Broken...done..

So, what was I going to do? Absolutely nothing I could do.

To make matters worse, my girlfriend broke her computer (ok, her sister did when she came over to visit) before I got here, so I couldn't do anything about that initially.

So, I'd try to write a little when I could. But for about two weeks, I was grounded and it really sucked.

[Young Drachma]

One day, I was messing around and it occured to me what was wrong with her computer.

So immediately, I went through the BIOS and discovered the problem. For some reason, she'd disabled her CD drive. I actived the IDE port that it was located on and voila! I was able to reinstall Windows 98.

Just like that, her computer was working again. It took me a good day or so to get it totally together, but then I was able to get to work. It was very exciting after watching nothing but Law and Order and election coverage for a good week or two.

I didn't want to go look for a job at the time. I didn't have a lot of options and figured I'd come here design web sites and work on the story and of course, toccer. But I was finally able after two weeks to get work.

The writer's block I'd had was still persistant and didn't allow me to do get anything out. So, I wasn't even able to do anything other than play TCY or perhaps a little Wall Street Raider (her computer is really old...). But I told myself it was better than nothing and it indeed it was.

But I wanted to right a novel. I was barely 2,000 words into the story and it was frustrating that I couldn't get anything done.

But the tide was turning...

[Young Drachma]

So now I was back online - well, I got the network card working after about two days - and able to do a lot. But nothing was happening.

I never thought about giving up writing the book and honestly, I was inspired. I just didn't know where I wanted to go next. So I would basically sit down at the computer and just start staring at the screen until I could figure out something.

Nothing would come, but I guess it was just a matter of time. That matter of time was almost a month after I left Oregon.

I'd been able to write a little before that, but none of it was worth keeping nor was it anything I really wanted. To make matters worse, my laptop was fried and there wasn't anything I could get off of it.

So, I didn't have any files I could revert back to and that left me struggling to figure out what I should do? And I figured it out...nothing.

On October 25th, I finally started typing again. Again on the 26th, I cranked more and on the 29th, I managed to get more done. When it was all said and done at the end of October, I had managed to write more in three days than I had anytime prior to starting this project.

It's not all about word count, mind you. But the most important thing about novel writing I've learned is that until you have something on paper, all those great ideas aren't getting you very far, if your destination is a published novel.

Since that's what I wanted, it meant I needed to actually do something. And I'd finally taken steps to get the story someplace. I was at about 7,000 or so words by time the month ended.

[Young Drachma]

The backdrop
Basically, Tristan (the Main Character) has been messing with this chick from work named Abby. This hoe has issues. She essentially hung out with him as her "guy best friend" while she was dating this jerk Rich. Rich was messing with her and this other girl at the same time, but she didn't know that.

Anyway, one night she came over Tristan's hysterical and said that Rich raped her. Tristan had no reason to doubt her, she spents the night with him at his place (nothing happens) and she then leaves and tells him that she's going to see Rich.

Then she disappears for at least a week or so. No calls, nothing. He finally gets a hold of her and she basically cries on the phone. Doesn't say a whole lot, he tells her to come over. And basically, he tells her he wants her.

She stays, "stuff" happens.. This is the next morning, followed by..well, he'll tell you.
-----------------

The next morning I woke up and at first, it felt like what had happened the night before was a dream. I felt lonelier than I'd ever remembered feeling at any point in my life, when I turned and saw she was gone. No note, no goodbye..just me, myself and my stained sheets.

It was the pits.
------------------------------

I went back to work and next few weeks were relatively uneventful. No arrests, no late night liaisons with a girl who disappears for weeks at a time with no explanation. Well, almost.

It's been a month since Abby left my apartment without any real answer. I haven't heard from her and I don't really want to. I didn't even go to her apartment or call. I figure if she wanted to talk to me, I'd hear from her by now.

Just when I was beginning to put her in the backburner of my mind, the VP of my department decided to stop by and introduce me to someone. “Tristan, hey there. This is Madeline. She'll be stepping into Abby's old role in Operations.”

“Hi there, nice to meet you.” I said as I extended a hand to her.

Madeline was striking. About 5'6”, slender and a smile as welcoming as warmth in the Arctic. “Hello there,” she said pleasantly.

And with that, I met the woman who would be the poster child for what I was not quite ready for, but desperately wanted.

I took me a while to realize what I was missing. For a long time, I thought that when I bought a new suit, perhaps some new shoes or when I started to make more money – new cars – would complete me. Women were merely accessories that were much like the hats I wore, depending on what outfit I was wearing or how I felt, would be the one I'd want to be with.

It never occurred to me, prior to meet Madeline that there would be a woman out there who I could totally give my heart to. After all, I'd tried that with Abby and she ended up vanishing without a trace. I couldn't risk letting something crazy like that happen again.

So I never said anything to her. I went as far as I could to avoid working with her, trading projects with people in my office to avoid seeing her. But someone must've known something, but one day I got an interesting email.

From: Madeline Crosby-Rainier
To: Tristan D. Schofield
Subject: The McMurphy Account

Mr. Schofield,

Donald Bates in Marketing told me that we were originally supposed to work together on this one. But, that you asked him to do it instead. Is there any reason you're avoiding working with me? I hear you're one of the best account managers in the firm and I'd be interested in learning from the best.

Have lunch with me tomorrow?

Madeline


I was floored. Not only did Bates out me – that bastard – but now I've got to respond to her. Complicating matters was the fact that I'd told Shelly in her office that I'd have lunch with her tomorrow afternoon. Not only was I eschewing good advice “not to get involved with people at work,” I was quickly becoming the guy who the new people are told to “stay away from.”

Now if I'd sent her an email like that, I suspect that I might be meeting with the Diversity Coordinator to get trained in “sexual harassment” and how it's against company policy. But maybe I just read into this wrong. I asked my friend Derek, who was an administrative assistant for one of the Vice-president's what he thought.

From: Tristan D. Schofield
To: Derek Jenkins
Subject: FW: Check THIS shit out...

D: I don't even know what to make of this. Thoughts?
~Tristan


Almost immediately, he replied.

From: Derek Jenkins
To: Tristan Schofield
Subject: Re: FW: Check THIS shit out...

T:
There is only possible thing to make of it. She wants you. Either you get with her or I'm sure plenty of other people around here will. She's been avoiding John Michner for two weeks now....

~D

One thing about Derek was, he knew all the stuff going on in the office. If someone was sleeping with someone else, D probably knew about it before they'd taken their clothes off.

John Michner was the CFO of the firm and Derek's boss and when I discovered that Michner was interested in her, I was shocked. I immediately tried to figure out how to show I was interested – well, I never was never not interested in Madeline – without making her think I'm trying to make a move. After all, what if she really just wanted to talk about work?

The flurry of email that ensued after Derek's last one to me, was in violation of all company email policies that said personal email communication should be held to a “minimum.” But oh well.

From: Tristan Schofield
To: Shelly Emler
Subject: About tomorrow

Shelly:
Would it be okay if we rescheduled to a different time? I need to have a lunch meeting tomorrow about an important account.

Thanks for understanding!
~Tristan

I almost felt bad about cancelling on her, but I also knew that she was out today and wouldn't get the email until tomorrow morning after going through 60 or so work related ones. And that I'd be too tied up to respond, even if she did call my office.

So, then there was the matter of Madeline.


To: Madeline Crosby-Rainier
From: Tristan D. Schofield
Subject: Re: The McMurphy Account

Madeline:

Thanks for the note. Actually, I'd heard so much about how talented you were since arriving here that I was a bit intimidated. I was mentally preparing myself for being the #2 person on a sales team, but I suppose if you're interested in training me now that I'm ready and willing to learn. :)

How about tomorrow at 1230 at Fiorina's on Bountiful and West Boulevard? We can meet or I can drive.

~Tristan

To: Tristan D. Schofield
From: Madeline Crosby-Rainier
Subject: Sounds great!

Well, that's flattering. But I know better. :) As for your “training,” I'm not too sure what you're referring to. But from what I've been told about you – I might be the one in need of learning.

I've never been to Fiorina's, so you can drive. I'll meet you in the lobby at 1215.

~Madeline

To: Madeline Crosby-Rainier
From: Tristan D. Schofield
Subject: Re: Sounds great!

I have to know this. Are you married or are you one of those people whose parents were too indecisive to pick one last name?

Just tell me tomorrow.

~Tristan

To: Tristan D. Schofield
From: Madeline Crosby-Rainier
Subject: No

My mother remarried, her new husband adopted me when I was 13. My father died when I was 9 and I wanted to keep his last name, but also loved my stepdad a lot and took his name when I turned 16.

Any other questions, save for tomorrow. I'm out of here.

Madeline

After wiping the egg of my face, I was floored. Here I was getting involved with a woman who I honestly felt was out of my league. Though I knew nothing about her, only the mystery of her long-legged, warm smiling self. That was sufficient for dreaming and other nighttime activities, but hardly so for sustaining a relationship.

Worse yet, what if things didn't work out and we ended up having to face each other in the office? I don't work on her floor, not even her wing of the building. But people talk and when you're two high profile people those rumors travel fast. Maybe I should've stuck to anonymous people like Shelly who no one really knows or forgets really easily.

It was too late. I was head first into this one.

[Thul]

Hey, good luck with your book!

I also self-published, and it's a tough road. My children's novel won awards, got positive reviews in the press, and it's still a long road to sales. Not to discourage you, I can just appreciate what you're going through!

It took me about 18 months to write, edit, and do the plethora of rewrites between my "real" job. It turned out the writing was the easy part. "Selling" yourself is a whole different animal.

[Young Drachma]

Originally Posted by Thul

Hey, good luck with your book!

I also self-published, and it's a tough road. My children's novel won awards, got positive reviews in the press, and it's still a long road to sales. Not to discourage you, I can just appreciate what you're going through!

It took me about 18 months to write, edit, and do the plethora of rewrites between my "real" job. It turned out the writing was the easy part. "Selling" yourself is a whole different animal.

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm just doing it because its something I've always wanted to do it and so I'm finally going forward with it.

[Young Drachma]

No, I never gave up on the story. It's just..after about two weeks of going non-stop crazy with writing, I hit a wall. My Main Character had a lot of drama. He had a crazy ex-girlfriend who showed up back in his life, told him she had a kid, that it was his and that she wanted him to come back to her.

He met a new girl, was really happy with her and things were getting serious. Then, he decided to visit his hometown for the first time in a few years. That's where I got stuck and where I am currently.

I wrote for the first time the other day, and so, now I'm at the point where I have to decide whether I want to stick with the way things are going or if I want to change gears and do something completely different.

I dunno...so I'll have more once I know more. It's once of those deals. But I'm not nearly in the rush I was before to finish, which makes me pretty happy, because I'm more interested in finishing it as a quality novel, rather than doing it just to get it done.

[SFL Cat]

DC...that's the killer. You get to a place where you just hit a wall...you start to wonder if you should go back and extensively rewrite, or just scrap the whole thing. My advise - print out what you have and let it sit for three to four weeks. In the meantime you might want to start something new as a change-of-pace. After three to four weeks, go back to your manuscript and read what you have so far. For me, plot holes or inconsistencies usually jump right out at me and I'll often get inspiration on where to go from a point in the story that was previously a "dead-end." Very rarely have I ever needed to completely scrap something and begin again. Most important...KEEP WRITING...most of the time it will just flow...but sometimes, when you're feeling dry, you have to be disciplined and make yourself sit down and do it.

[Young Drachma]

Thanks very much for the advice I needed that.

[revrew]

DC, I'm a writer and a professional editor. When I struggle with the anxieties and the fears of writing (like, "Do I really suck and just don't know it?" "Am I wasting my time?" "What if no one ever likes this?" "What if I have a great story but am so inept that I'll muck it up?") I turn to a sign I have on my wall. I got it at a writer's conference, and I love it:

"Someone once told me that fear and courage are like lightning and thunder; they both start out at the same time, but th efear travels faster and arrives sooner. If we just wait a moment, the requisite courage will come along shortly." --Lawrence Block

BTW, the sign I have right below it on my wall approaches where fear in writing originates. It's from an anonymous student: "I'm not afraid to write what I feel. I'm afraid to feel what I feel."

[Young Drachma]

I've begun writing again. But I've scraped my own manuscript and started on something that is similar to it, but I feel like I have a much better voice at writing. So I think once I really get into it, I'll be able to do something far better and that I won't feel was rushed or anything.

I actually create a blog to journal all my novel writing, but it's not accessible so no one really knows its there. I did it that way, because I found writing in Word or whatever always made me feel like I hadn't written enough.

In blog format, I never feel that way. Plus, I do it pretty often and so I figured it was just a logical extension.

I haven't been doing it that long, so we'll see how it goes.

[Young Drachma]

I've been feeling creative over the past few weeks, I've had some dialogue in my head. I think once I get back to the city and around people - and do some people watching - that the story will be able to come out fluidly. I'm ready to write, there is no doubt about that.

But I want to avoid forcing it or writing something just to get junk out on paper. So yeah..we shall see.

[Young Drachma]

I'm gonna do the novelblogging thing again. Different blog, whole new start. I'm going to force myself to write everyday. No real requirements on what I write, other than it needs to make sense or there has to be some follow-up from the previous day.

It'll be like writing boot camp for me, because the truth is..I just need to write, to challenge myself creatively and to just get stuff out there, figuring out the details later. Perhaps it'll be a collection of stories? But for right now, we'll just write and see where it ends up.

I'll link you all to it, so I ask that you visit and I'll update this thread when I post there, in part because comments - even "hey DC, this sucks" will be a good way for me to get in the groove of writing.

[Young Drachma]

Ok, so it's a year since I really started writing that first one and I'd put it away.

But the whole National Novel Writing Month thing that really accelerated my writing pace last year has started again and so..I'm gonna start writing.

But instead of going back to the old one - which honestly, was my original plan - I'm actually starting a completely new story.

The title is The Stopgap Girl.

We'll see where it goes...

Basically the gist is, young guy - recalls all of these different women he's ended up with over the years. Largely, just segue women that weren't what he wanted, but got the job done for that particular time. He got tired of it and says he wants to move to something different, but it's not until he really meets "her" that he decides that maybe it's time to stop this stopgap deal.

Problem is, he's in pretty deep and they're like bees, they swarm. So, the story is about whether this guy can be patient enough and is willing to fight it out for what he truly believes he wants, when it's not even sure that he'll get it (e.g. the "it" girl doesn't want him or so she says...) when there are plenty of "sure things" hanging around that aren't too shabby.

Should be...interesting to see how it develops. I'm not blogging it. I'm just writing it like a regular novel, in Word, like I did with the last one.

Wish me luck!

[Young Drachma]

I appreciated a while ago that someone on here once told me that I ought to just write..even sometimes when you don't feel like it. Right now is one of those times, but I recalled that advice vividly.

I'm just getting into the novel, school is making a lot more difficult than I'd like to be able to really get my head into a place where I can write regularly. Bad excuse, given my schedule..but..yeah.

I need to get cracking on it.

[Young Drachma]

What's funny about a lot of threads on boards like these -- even more than journals -- is that it's interesting to see how much your life changes during these times. When I first came to Wyoming, I was working on the novel. I got far, but I was insecure about my writing and myself in a lot of ways and despite trying to go back to that story a few times..I never could crank it out.

In retrospect, I think it was pretty simple. I wasn't the person who started the story -- or at least -- in the same place that I was when it began. My life changed really fast and it became a story I no longer had the will to write. I've wanted for years to go back and start something new and actually make it through. But I didn't have an idea that really worked and so, I've written just a little over the past few years. Some poems, but nothing major.

Well, I'm leaving the state for a new job in a month and I think that I finally have a working story that's based on a similar premise as what I intended my initial foray to be, but I think that experience and life have made what I intend to write this time so much better than what I was attempting to do the first time.

I have no idea when I'll start, I've just made the commitment to do it this year, because it's something I've always wanted to do and I just told myself to stop trying to force it years ago and to let it come to me. And I think it finally has.

We shall see, though.

[SFL Cat]

Now THAT'S what I call a bump. Good luck!

[molson]

Keep it going. You're guaranteed a bunch of sales just through FOFC.

[Young Drachma]

Several months later, I've revisited my stance and decided that it is. No MFA and the business stuff is on hold. I'm going to focus on the novel this year and of course, the sports and my regular job. I'm getting back into the daily grind of writing by doing a few dynasties and then I'll get started on the novel in earnest. I've mapped out the idea and just went back to what I originally planned to do before talking myself out of it, but this time...I know what I need to do and why.

So we'll see how it goes.