05-27-2004, 11:27 AM | #51 | ||
World Champion Mis-speller
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Covington, Ga.
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You should have written a dynasty.
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05-27-2004, 11:29 AM | #52 | |
Roster Filler
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Cicero
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Quote:
How long do you typically have to wait for these morons to get there? Does your laptop have wireless internet? We need updates as the kids arrive delivered by stupid parents. I am actually to the point where I eagerly look for updates to this thread, it is so funny. I wish I lived in Georgia (an unfamilar and uncomfortable feeling for me) so that I could show up in the parking lot and sign medical forms for $100 a pop.
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05-27-2004, 11:48 AM | #53 | |
Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Greensboro, NC
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Quote:
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The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'! |
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05-27-2004, 12:06 PM | #54 |
College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Grafton, WI
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Folks don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures taking 90 kids on a Colorado trip come wit'!
Sorry. It just needed to be done again. |
08-08-2004, 04:03 AM | #55 | |
Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Greensboro, NC
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Quote:
Q: Which of the following statements are true about the child of Obtuse Mother mentioned in the "I-didn't-know-anything-about-any-doctor's-signature" incident above??? A. The student was late arriving to the bus. B. The student did not have a doctor's signature on her form. C. The student did not have a copy of her physical for cheerleading, which I told Obtuse Mother would have sufficed, despite the fact that we left from the parking lot of the very building where Obtuse Mother could have obtained a copy of said physical. D. As the student and Obtuse Mother approached the bus, I noticed that Obtuse Mother was carrying.....you guessed it boys and girls......a sleeping bag. E. During the week, the student came up to me and said, "Is there a way my mom can wire some money to me? You didn't tell us that it would be cold*, and I need to buy some clothes in the shop." F. All of the above. *--Another excerpt from the oft-mentioned, but apparently-unread document that mom was holding in her hand while bitching at me in my office: WEATHER Crooked Creek Ranch is located approximately 9,000 feet above sea level. Therefore the weather is extremely unpredictable, adn will often change rapidly. Be prepared for shorts-and-t-shirt wethaer, as well as jeans-and-sweatshirt wetaher. Yes, snow is a possibility.
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The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'! |
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08-08-2004, 07:46 AM | #56 |
College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Amarillo, TX
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I don't understand. How on earth was the student able to find you during the week from all the way across the country when you left her behind in Georgia because she didn't have a doctor's signature on her form or a copy of her physical?
The worst part of all of this is that Obtuse Mother will be the first one to badmouth your leadership skills because you did such a piss-poor job of preparing these kids for their trip. |
08-08-2004, 07:13 PM | #57 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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This is one of my comedy highlights for the weekend.
(And anyone want to put odds on how many parents will have been strangled by the end of the week just through Ben's mind choking powers?) SI
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08-08-2004, 11:16 PM | #58 | |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
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For some reason, this
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was freaking hilarious to me. Too bad this was a church trip and you couldnt tell her exactly where she needed to shove that sleeping bag. |
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08-08-2004, 11:24 PM | #59 |
College Prospect
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Tempe, AZ
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1. People are idiots.
2. Because of number 1, you might want to post on the form next year in bold, that the student does not need a sleeping bag. Also you might want to provide a FAQ with the most common questions asked over the last two or three weeks. Not saying that is a guarantee that it will be read. Have a safe trip. Last edited by SunDevil : 08-08-2004 at 11:25 PM. |
08-08-2004, 11:29 PM | #60 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
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This trip happened a couple of months ago?
And next year on the banned list, you should include Fireworks Cell Phones Tobacco Products Sleeping Bags Pagers Pornography etc..... |
02-23-2006, 03:13 PM | #61 | |
Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Greensboro, NC
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Quote:
Approximately 10:45pm yesterday, there's a knock on our side door. I'm in bed, asleep. SWMBO is in her pajamas, and about to come to bed. She decides to ignore the knock. 15 seconds later...another knock. 15 more seconds....another knock. SWMBO comes to wake me up SWMBO: "Honey, someone is knocking at the side door, and they keep knocking." (Knock, knock, knock) Ben: {Mumbles something incoherent} (Knock, Knock, knock) Ben: "Don't worry about it. They'll go away. It's probably {Obtuse Mother's Name} anyway." (Knock, Knock, Knock) (I'm not exaggerating here. The rate of knocks increased to about 3-4 every 10 seconds. SWMBO: "They're still knocking. It could be a kid with an emergency with a kid or something. You might want to answer it." {Ben gets up, throws on clothes. Answers door.} Obtuse Mother: "Oh hi, Ben. Oh, you look tired. I didn't wake you up, did I??? I'm sorry!" Ben's Inner Monologue: Nah. You only knocked at my door, what, 10-15 times in a 2-minute-or-so period. Ben: "Oh, It's ok. Is everything ok?" (thinking that SURELY she wants something urgent, considering how long she knocked) Obtuse Mother: {Long and way-too-detailed story about why she didn't turn in a sign-up form for a trip that we're taking this summer in time to meet the deadline for the early-bird price break THREE weeks ago.}"... So, I've come to sign up {Little Precious's name}for the trip." Hmmmm...you missed the price break deadline, and the next deadline isn't until April 1st, yet you thought it necessary to repeatedly bang on my door at dang near 11pm to get her signed up RIGHT NOW, even though you live, what, two, two-and-a-half minutes away from me? Unfathomable. "Little Precious" is a really a sweet kid who could use lots of guidance (I guess that's obvious, considering her mom is a Grade-A fruitcake.) Part of me worries about her heading off to college next year. However, another part of me is very, very happy that, being the youngest and out of the age range to be involved in my ministry, she is my last link to Obtuse Mother.
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The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'! |
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02-23-2006, 03:35 PM | #62 |
Rider Of Rohan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep
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And thus the mystery of who jbmagic really is came to an end at last.
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It's not the years...it's the mileage. |
02-23-2006, 03:35 PM | #63 | |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Kansas City, MO
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Quote:
Fly, Little Precious! Fly! |
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02-23-2006, 03:37 PM | #64 | |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Kansas City, MO
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Quote:
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02-23-2006, 03:39 PM | #65 |
assmaster
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Bloomington, IN
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Heh. I'm moving to Georgia when my kids are old enough to be one of Ben's kids.
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02-23-2006, 04:12 PM | #66 |
Queen Of All She Surveys
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: The lowcountry
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I would just like to add that the same young lady in question is the one who was deeply confused when she learned that we were not getting off our raft at the same place that we launched from in the morning for our day of white water rafting. The rafting guide looked at me with bewilderment in his eyes as if to say, "is she serious?" I just smiled and nodded. Pretty stunning. I am not sure how much college is going to help.
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02-23-2006, 04:17 PM | #67 | |
Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Greensboro, NC
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Quote:
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The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'! |
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02-23-2006, 04:19 PM | #68 | |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
Saving it for the book? (Seriously, between the book about your job & the book about my job, we could make a mint ... except that everybody would insist that we had to be making this stuff up 'cause it couldn't really happen)
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02-23-2006, 04:25 PM | #69 | |
College Prospect
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Buffalo,NY
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Quote:
Ah, I see now. A SISSY camp. |
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02-23-2006, 04:29 PM | #70 | |
Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Greensboro, NC
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The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'! |
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