This HAS to be a joke, right?

[Ksyrup]

Bronzing the TomKitten's first poop? Are you serious?


Tomkitten's 'first poop' goes on display
(AFP)
Updated: 2006-08-31 10:41

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show their baby daughter off in public, but eager fans have been given an unusual preview overnight, with the chance to see a bronze cast depicting her first solid stool.
The scatological sculpture is purportedly cast from 19-week old Suri's first bowel movement and will be shown at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn, New York, before being auctioned off for charity.

The artist behind the work, Daniel Edwards, previously courted controversy with a life-size nude sculpture of pop star Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug. That work was shown at the same gallery in April.

"A bronzed cast of a baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family," gallery director David Kesting said, adding that he hoped the work would attract bids of up to $US50,000 ($65,000).

The sculpture, which sits on a wooden mounting with a glass casing, is to be sold on eBay next month with proceeds from the sale going to infant health charity March Of Dimes.

As of Wednesday it had attracted a top bid of $US41 ($54).

Cruise and Holmes announced Suri's birth in April. The entertainment press, which dubbed the pair "TomKat," has shown a seemingly insatiable appetite for news of the pair and their "TomKitten."

A spokeman for the couple was not immediately available Wednesday to comment on the sculpture.

[FrogMan]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

The artist behind the work, Daniel Edwards, previously courted controversy with a life-size nude sculpture of pop star Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug. That work was shown at the same gallery in April.

you do remember that one, right? That's gotta tell us it's one big joke...

FM

[rkmsuf]

That can't be fo real.

[Ksyrup]

[rkmsuf]

That's like a superturd.

[Ksyrup]

I think the (AFP) gives it away, now that I look at it. What's that supposed to be - America's Fruitiest People?

[FrogMan]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I think the (AFP) gives it away, now that I look at it. What's that supposed to be - America's Fruitiest People?

Agence France-Presse? Not sure if it's that much better than the fruitiest version though

FM

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by FrogMan

Agence France-Presse? Not sure if it's that much better than the fruitiest version though

FM

Is that a real news agenct? I've seen this story on a couple of websites. Maybe it IS real!

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Is that a real news agenct? I've seen this story on a couple of websites. Maybe it IS real!

I'm pulling for it to be real.

[FrogMan]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Is that a real news agenct? I've seen this story on a couple of websites. Maybe it IS real!

http://www.afp.com/english/home/

well, yeah, the news might be real and all, but the crazy "artist" who did this thing might as well have used one of his dog's turd as a model, considering the size of the thing...

FM

[FrogMan]

[FrogMan]

this thing is HUGE, nothing that a 19 weeks old would push out...

FM

[Ksyrup]

You'd think they would use a more...I don't know, scientific?...word on the sculpture, rather than "poop."

Hey, at least we can verify this is Tom Cruise's baby. That thing looks just like the movies Cruise has been pumping out for the past decade or so.

[Wolfpack]

Not to mention solid. Considering the baby shouldn't (although with the bizarreness of Scientology in the mix, you never know) be eating solid foods just yet (no teeth, for chrissake), there's no way a baby should be pushing solid poops this young.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by FrogMan

this thing is HUGE, nothing that a 19 weeks old would push out...

FM

But she is a scientologist. They can put out a lot of shit.

[vex]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

But she is a scientologist. They can put out a lot of shit.

nice

[Lorena]

No way is that a 19 week old's turd... no way. Besides, how did the turd get the pointy tip unless she wasn't wearing a diaper.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by FrogMan

you do remember that one, right? That's gotta tell us it's one big joke...

His Brittney sculpture and the Suri sculpture at least have thing in common ...

[stevew]

Originally Posted by Wolfpack

Not to mention solid. Considering the baby shouldn't (although with the bizarreness of Scientology in the mix, you never know) be eating solid foods just yet (no teeth, for chrissake), there's no way a baby should be pushing solid poops this young.

The first poop of an infant is solid and is supposedly as thick as tar. That's what I've heard anyways.

[CraigSca]

Hmm...I remember very few solid poops in infancy. The majority I remember were either molded to the diaper and butt or, all the way up the back - ACK!

[gkb]

We have a seven month old who's just started eating some baby food. His first poops were like tar (as stevew mentioned above). He has yet to have a poop that looks anything like that sculpture shows.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by stevew

The first poop of an infant is solid and is supposedly as thick as tar. That's what I've heard anyways.

It's also typically dark green, almost black.

Meconium: a dark green mucilaginous material in the intestine of the full-term fetus, being a mixture of the secretions of the liver, intestinal glands, and some amniotic fluid.

[BrianD]

There are way too many people speaking with way too much knowledge on this subject...

[FrogMan]

Originally Posted by stevew

The first poop of an infant is solid and is supposedly as thick as tar. That's what I've heard anyways.

while it is indeed thick as tar, it also is gooey like tar, not solid at all, at least not in the shape of a turd like the nice piece of art presented here...

FM

[FrogMan]

Originally Posted by BrianD

There are way too many people speaking with way too much knowledge on this subject...

yeah, well, a few of us are parents and have dealt with infant poop at one point or another

FM

[saldana]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

It's also typically dark green, almost black.

Meconium: a dark green mucilaginous material in the intestine of the full-term fetus, being a mixture of the secretions of the liver, intestinal glands, and some amniotic fluid.

there is some latitude in what they are calling "first"...meconium is passed usually within the first hour or two of life, if not during delivery....so this sculpture is in absolutely no way supposed to be that...meconium is extremely thick, almost like a mucous, and if the baby is in distress while being delivered, it is a major emergency because if it mixes with the amniotic fluid, the baby will inhale it, and it is so thick they will basically drown in it unless it can be removed from their lungs before spontaneous respiration starts.

[Abe Sargent]

All I got to say is dont read this thread while you're horny. Goodbye boner

[SackAttack]

Originally Posted by Anxiety

All I got to say is dont read this thread while you're horny. Goodbye boner

So does that make you a pedophile turned off by the scatologic conversation or a scatolophile turned off by the pedophilic implications?

[Crim]

Originally Posted by BrianD

There are way too many people speaking with way too much knowledge on this subject...

I gotta tell ya, I'm not the squeemish type, but... with my first daughter, I got through my wife's pregnancy, difficult labor, and emergency c-section fine, and then when I opened Paige's diaper to deal with the meconium I was well and truly horrified. I made such a mess of things that my wife nearly split her stitches laughing at me.

[k0ruptr]

so in 20 years or so...


Busta Rhymes:
"Bitch, do you know how I roll? I drive a H10 to the end of my drive way just to check the mail, and thats all I use it for."

Suri Cruise:
"who you calling bitch, bitch! I'm so important I got my first poop sculpted in bronze , so step off! oh yea SCIENTOLOGY RULES!"


lol

[Ksyrup]

Here's a better explanation of the sculpture, courtesy of E!


The Excremental Suri
By Natalie FinnWed Aug 30, 5:41 PM ET


We may not know what Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' daughter looks like on the outside, but her insides are about to become a little less mysterious.

Turning "fine art" into what may be the most subjective term in the world, a bronze sculpture entitled Suri's Bronzed Baby Poop, inspired by the TomKitten spawn's first solid meal and the fecal matter that presumably followed, will go on display Wednesday.

Don't worry, no actual poop was harmed in the making of this sculpture.

"Babies mostly breast-feed for the first four months, so a baby's first meal of solid food may be a baby's first meal at the dinner table," said David Kesting, director of Capla Kesting Fine Art, located in Brooklyn's Williamsburg gallery district. "A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family."

Oh, for you, perhaps. The shiny sculpture will be at the gallery at least through September (unless people riot beforehand) and will be up for auction on eBay, with proceeds going to the March of Dimes. Limited edition plaster replicas will also be for sale.

Daniel Edwards, who previously brought us Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston, the sculpture of a very pregnant and very nude Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, is the man behind the idea, which, according to a press release, was also inspired by the successful children's book Everybody Poops.

Well, everybody does a lot of things, most of which should never be cast in bronze. But the Capla gallery apparently knows that if you're going to showcase a replica of diaper detritus, you'd better have some darn good underlying social criticism or a tongue-in-cheek, wink-wink joke in mind.

"It's partially a statement on modern media that 'celebrity poop' has more entertainment value than health, famine or other critical issues facing society and governments today," the Capla crew said in a statement, "and also the absurdity of the media coverage on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' new baby, Suri Cruise, which has reached stellar proportions, eclipsing far more notable events with more substance."

Speaking of which, the masses will reportedly get their first glimpse of four-month-old Suri in Vanity Fair this fall, courtesy of celebrity photographer Annie Leibowitz. It's been 133 days, per Us Weekly's handy-dandy still-no-Suri clock, since the child's birth.

[Ksyrup]

For the Turbonegro fans...








Asscobra!